


too busy dwelling on the past

by foreverobessed



Series: caim [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker is a Little Shit, Anakin Skywalker is the Chosen One, Angst, Anxiety, Awkward Tension, BAMF Anakin Skywalker, Bad Dreams, Batuu, Bounty Hunter Anakin Skywalker, Clone!Darth Vader, Crash Landing, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Darth Vader is a Clone, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Sensitive Padmé Amidala, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kid Leia Organa, Kid Luke Skywalker, Misunderstandings, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Other, Padmé Amidala Lives, Padmé Amidala Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Some Fluff, Tatooine (Star Wars), Tatooine Slave Culture, Tension, everuone needs a hug, i will add tags/change rating as I go on, inquisitors I made shows up for like a few seconds, smut might be in here haven’t decided yet, tbh idk how major obikins gonna be, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25167184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverobessed/pseuds/foreverobessed
Summary: Anakin just wants to free the slaves on Tatooine and get rid of Hutt rule, what he did not intend on doing was crash land in Wild Space and see some familiar faces.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Leia Organa, Padmé Amidala & Luke Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: caim [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820449
Comments: 55
Kudos: 277





	1. negotiating & crashing

**Author's Note:**

> ngl I’m pretty bad at doing multichaptered fanfics but I’m doing it AnywaY bc I want to by the way sorry if some of this is inaccurate to clone wars or legends bc I never finished clone wars so sorry about that. hope y’all enjoy this!!

“Did you get Kayla’s chip out?” Anakin said, speaking into the com. Anakin wished he could be on Tatooine, helping the slaves out but he was on Batuu. He heard of a trader that was selling kyber crystals, and he wanted to get all of them. Kyber crystals wouldn’t be safe in the Empire's hands, and he knew as soon as the Emperor heard of this he’d be sending down Inquisitors. 

“Yes, I did.” Dr. Zalachi answered. Sanna Zalachi was a medic on Tatooine, Anakin had found her on Savareen while he was making his way to Tatooine. When he asked her to help him, she immediately said yes. Her Mom use to be a slave and she saw the toll it took on them. 

“That’s good.. make sure Ro’vida is meditating, I know she won’t without someone telling her.” Ro’vida was a Twi’lek with pink skin and blue eyes, she had been one of the first slaves he’d freed. He had noticed she was Force Sensitive and tried to teach her everything he knew, he could sense a lot of Force Sensitives slaves, but not enough where the Emperor would consider killing them. They were untrained of course, and since they were slaves he probably assumed they never would be trained. “Oh also remember Gunn’sara, Paila-“

“And Jido will be coming during the night to get their chips removed, I know.” Sanna said it with a certain fondness to her voice. Dr. Zalachi had helped him treat old wounds that the Emperor inflicted on him, and she was very understanding. She had a soft touch and caring eyes, at times he felt like she was the only person he could trust. 

“I’ll be back as quick as I can.” He said in a hushed tone, “I just can’t let these kyber crystals fall into the wrong hands.”

“I know, Anakin.” Sanna said it in a soothing tone. He didn’t tell anyone his last name, just his first. Even though it had been nine years since the Clone Wars ended, he knew some still remembered The Team, and The Hero With No Fear. “Just be back soon, okay? Ro’vida is already whining about how she can’t practice Soresu without you. And be  _ careful,  _ I know you only brought a couple bacta patches with you.”

“We were low on them already.” Anakin said, shrugging and giving Sanna a smile. “This shouldn’t be too long. See you soon, Sanna.” He clicked the button and Sanna’s kind face disappeared. 

Anakin sighed and hopped out of  _ Azure Angel III.  _ Azure Angel’s I And II he piloted in the Clone Wars, the first Azure Angel has been destroyed by Ventress, and the second was probably still on Coruscant or most likely scraps by now. He just wanted something of his old life to get him by, and it didn’t hurt that he named the ship after Padmé. 

_ Padmé.  _

Batuu, he had gone on years ago to look for Padmé. He had grudgingly agreed to look with Thawn, and now this planet just reminded him of her. He sighed lost in thought until Lucky beeped at him. 

“Ok, sheesh.” Anakin got him out of the ship and Lucky bumped into his leg. “I know, we’re supposed to be on Tatooine, but don’t you want a little more adventure?”

Lucky whistled at him, and Anakin chuckled. “Yeah, I guess breaking out slaves and beating slavers and Hutt’s is enough adventure for anyone, Now come on. We’re looking for a Trandoshan with red skin and yellow eyes, he goes by the name Khrussk.” Ahsoka flashed before his mind as he remembered when she was captured for  _ sport  _ with other younglings by Trandoshans.  _ Don’t think about it.  _

Lucky beeped an affirmative, as Anakin and the droid made their way towards the Black Spire Outpost. The Outpost was a place originally for people who didn’t want to be found, but it eventually evolved into a thriving and busy spaceport for smugglers, rogue traders, and adventurers. It had access to exotic supplies and potential recruits, which made even more adventurers want to stop by. 

Anakin and Lucky made their way out of Docking Bay 7 and browsed the droid depot. Anakin saw some new wheels for Lucky and paid a couple credits for them. The Trandoshan would be waiting for Anakin in the cantina, and he turned to Lucky and kneeled down. 

“You gotta go back to the ship, buddy.” Anakin said, patting his dome head. “You need to keep watch.” Lucky beeped out an affirmative and Anakin watched the droid’s retreating form in the crowd until he couldn’t see him anymore. Anakin felt on the inside of his jacket for the hidden pocket where his lightsaber was, it was still there. Lightsabers we’re too flashy for Batuu, so he just stuck with two blasters to his belt. 

Anakin walked to the dome shaped cantina and was immediately hit with the smell of Andoan White. He wrinkled his nose and swept the place with his eyes, and he saw the red Trandshoan in the corner in a booth. He sauntered over there, sliding into the other side of the booth. 

Anakin gave Khrussk a smile, “Heard you had some parts that I have an interest in.”

Even though the two were sitting down, Anakin could tell the reptilian was taller than Anakin, and Anakin knew he could pack a punch. “Depends on who's asking.” The Trandshoan said in Basic, picking up his drink and taking a swing of it. 

“Well… the  _ Sentinel _ is asking.” Khrussk’s eyes widened. The Sentinel was infamous for beating Inquisitors, taking out the highest bounties, and for stealing expensive spice. Anakin wasn’t the type to exploit it, but he needed those kyber crystals. They couldn’t fall into the wrong hands, plus it wasn’t a bad idea that he knew a couple Force Sensitives on Tatooine and they could hopefully find a crystal that connected to them. 

“How about 50,000 credits?” Anakin asked calling over a bartender. She came over and set down some sort of strong smelling alcoholic drink. He downed the drink, and set his blue eyes onto the Trandshoan’s.

“No. 125,000 credits.” Khrussk said his eyes roamed Anakin’s face, his eyes lingered on the scar Ventress had left on him. 

Anakin sighed,“75,000 credits.”

“115,000 credits.”

“95,000, no higher.”

The Trandshoan looked at Anakin over again and sighed, “Deal.”

Anakin gave him a smile, “Pleasure doing business with you. I want them delivered to my ship in an hour.”

Khrussk spluttered, “An hour? I can’t get them delivered that fast-“

Anakin tossed him a couple more credits and left some credits on the table for his drink, “Get it done.” Anakin patted Khrussk on the back, and walked back towards his ship where Lucky would be. Lucky was by the ship beeping at him in greeting. 

“Guess we got an hour to kill, let’s get these wheels on you.” Anakin took his time installing the wheels, and when he was done Lucky moved around in excitement. Anakin felt a shift in the Force and got Lucky into the droid’s seat. He reached into his jacket and pulled out his lightsaber. Anakin turned around and was greeted with the sight of the Third Sister and Seventh Brother.

“Nice seeing you two.” He nodded, greeting the both of them. They both already had their scarlet lightsabers ignited, so he ignited his blue one. “Thought I wouldn’t see you two after last time… you know.. I kicked your ass.” 

“That won’t happen again.” The Seventh Brother vowed, twirling his dual wielded lightsaber. “We won’t fail again.”

“Now tell us,  _ Skywalker.”  _ The Third Sister drew out his last name, “Where are the kyber crystals? You know the trade of them are illegal.”

“You really think I would do that? Interact in illegal trade?  _ Me?  _ I am a law abiding citizen, you are terrorizing an innocent citizen.” 

“We all know you’re the farthest thing from an innocent citizen, Skywalker.” The Seventh Brother said, him and the Third Sister sauntered forward. Anakin fell into Djem So, as the Sister started twirling her curved hilt lightsaber. The Brother and Sister struck as one, and Anakin intercepted the Brother’s blow while dodging the Sister’s. The Sister tried to strike again but he held out his hand and pushed her away with the Force. The Seventh Brother growled and struck out with his lightsaber again, Anakin twirled away swinging and grazing the Brother’s wrist. 

The Brother hissed at him, and he struck at him again. The Brother parried Anakin’s blow. He felt the Sister try to reach out with the Force and trip up his footing. Anakin felt another presence enter the hangar, but he couldn’t focus on that. He slipped a bit and the Brother took that time to strike. He put up his saber to meet the Inquisitor's red one. He kicked at the Inquisitor's leg, making him fall. 

Anakin looked towards the new presence he had felt, and saw Khrussk with a saber to his throat. Khrussk had a bag in his hand and he could feel the crystal’s signature. Anakin reached out and called the Brother’s saber to him. He held the red saber dangerously close to the Brother’s throat, mocking the Sister. 

“Let him go and I won’t kill him.” Anakin threatened. “You know you need Khrussk alive, to find out where he got the crystals from.”

“You won’t.” The Sister said, but doubt was evident in her Force signature and her face. “You’re too weak.”

Anakin sighed, “I wish you hadn’t have said that.” He reached out with the Force and called the bag to him, as the bag was flying towards his hand he decapitated the Inquisitor. Anakin winked at the sister, deciding Khrussk wasn’t his problem anymore. He Force jumped into the pilot’s seat, flipping the switches and taking off. He blasted out as the Sister was going to stop him. 

The Sister reached out with the Force to try to stop his ship from moving but he was much stronger in the Force than the Sister was, so it was much easier to stop her. He slowed down the ship once they were in the planet’s atmosphere. 

“That was close, Lucky.” Anakin breathed out. Lucky beeped out in agreement.

“Kriff… I didn’t pay Khrussk.” Anakin said, “But he’s probably dead by now.”

Anakin sighed, “Back to Tatooine? You excited buddy? Time to stop the Hutt’s once and for all-“

Anakin felt something hit his ship, and Lucky whistled. He looked behind him and saw the Sister. “Kriff.” He started the ship and managed to dodge some of her blows. “Start up the hyperdrive, Lucky!” He spun around dodging and weaving to dodge the Sister’s blows. 

Lucky beeped out telling him hyperdrive was ready. Anakin presses down the hyperdrive lever, and as he did that he felt himself get hit. Blue blurred around him as Lucky whistled in worry. 

“Can you fix it? What got hit?” Lucky told him the engine had some damage, not enough to make them go down immediately but enough where they definitely needed to stop soon. 

Anakin let out a big breath, “What’s the closest planet to us? That we can make it to without crashing before we get there?”

Lucky whistled out an answer. “Bakura? Bakura it is.” Lucky worked on keeping the engine functioning but Anakin could hear the engine fritzing and sparking. The time passed slow but eventually Lucky told him they could move out of hyperspace. Anakin pulled back down the lever and Anakin saw a blue and green planet that reminded him of Naboo. Lucky whistled out in warning and Anakin felt the engine finally giving out. 

“Ready for a crash landing?” Anakin yelled over the rushing noise in his ears. He piloted the ship so the nose was downwards right towards the planet. The planet came at him faster and faster till he saw trees and was crashing. He blacked out for a few minutes and when he opened his eyes a tree branch was in his abdomen, and it went through his seat. He held his hand to the wound and held it up, blood coated it. He hazily called his lightsaber to him, cutting off the thick branch from its limb. 

“Lucky..” Anakin groaned out and he heard a beep in response. He briefly saw Lucky’s gold, white and green form. “G-Get help.. ok buddy?” He felt everything blur around him, and suddenly everything was black. 

-

Padmé was enjoying a morning in the living room sitting on the couch, drinking her caf as the twins were playing out in the garden and Obi-Wan sat on a mat in front of the couch meditating. The caf was hot on her tongue but she didn’t really care about the burn. Sometimes she could close her eyes and imagine she was in the Lake House on Naboo. 

Anakin was playing with the children in the Lake as Padmé enjoyed the peace and quiet with Obi-Wan as Anakin would play Jedi with the kids. She knew Anakin would’ve loved acting as a dangerous Jedi turned bad while the twins acted as the heroic Jedi coming to save the day. She just knew Anakin would’ve loved teaching the twins the Force, and would’ve for so excited when they used the Force for the first time and when they made their first lightsaber. 

Padmé watched the holonews, as it went over more Rebel attack’s and Empire Day coming soon. Coincidentally Luke and Leia’s birthday was on Empire Day. Although it was something to be enjoyed, their birthday reminded her of the Empire and her husband who had fallen. 

Padmé missed Anakin so much, but she learned how to deal with it. Her and Obi-Wan grieved him together. She used to blame Obi-Wan for Anakin’s fall but it wasn’t his fault. Obi-Wan loved Padmé the same as Anakin did, they were the last people who wanted him to fall. Padmé didn’t really care that Obi-Wan loved Anakin the same as she did, Anakin got the same look in his eyes when he thought of Obi-Wan as when he thought of her. She didn’t really mind it, Anakin had a hard upbringing and she would love Anakin no matter what, and she knew he loved her back as much as she did. 

“Mom! Mom!” She heard Luke call, and she turned her eyes over and saw Leia and Luke and they had a…  _ droid  _ with them? On Bakura no one really had droids, due to the taxes being so high for owning one. Obi-Wan blearily opened his eyes and looked over to the twins.

“Look what we found!” Leia said, patting the droid on the head.

“Where did you get this little guy?” Padmé said, setting her mug on the table next to the couch. 

The droid buzzed in worry, bumping into Padmé’s leg and then rolling around on his wheels. Obi-Wan got up, standing next to Padmé. 

“Calm down… Lucky.” Obi-Wan said, seeing a name written in Basic on the droid. He beeped worryingly, and rolled back towards the door and back to them. 

“I think he wants us to follow him.” Padmé said, she felt oddly trusting of the droid for some reason. The Force was mumbling something she couldn’t make out. She turned towards the twins. “Go work on some of your school work, we’ll be back.” 

Obi-Wan called his lightsaber to him, and he clipped it to his waist. “I don’t like this. Why are we following a paranoid droid?” Obi-Wan said as they followed the droid out the backdoor. The droid moved fast, as if something was very wrong. 

Padmé shrugged, “Come on Obi-Wan we’ve never seen a droid here ever. Plus nothing happens on this planet. It’ll be fun.”

“This isn’t really my definition of fun.” Obi-Wan replied, the droid beeped at them. 

“Wonder where his owner is.” Padmé commented, “He looks like he’s in pretty well shape, look at those wheels they’re brand new.” Padmé remembered a few things about mechanics from Anakin, he was always tinkering with something.  _ Don’t think about him, he’s a Sith Lord now, remember?  _

Soon they reached the forest and they saw smoking and several trees were knocked down. Obi-Wan and Padmé looked at each other in worry and ran over towards the smoking. Padmé saw a blue ship which weirdly resembled the ship  _ he  _ named after her the “Azure Angel.” The young man who had crashed had a stick sticking out of his abdomen, and looked like he had cut some of it off. He was slumped against glass like he had bashed his head against it. There was blood coming out of man’s back where he had been impaled and Padmé was sure there would be blood coming out from his front as well. She couldn’t see his face since he was slumped against the ship. 

“So this is what he was so freaked out about..” Obi-Wan said slowly. He looked over the man and picked up something that was laying against his lax hand. It was a lightsaber hilt, Obi-Wan looked at it in confusion. He ignited it and it was a bright scarlet. 

“H-He’s a.. Sith!” Padmé gasped. Lucky whistled loudly at her, almost protesting her. He went around the other side of the ship and Obi-Wan saw another hilt and picked it up and ignited the other saber. It was a bright azure blue. 

“We need to help him.” Padmé said, “He looks like he’s really badly hurt, and maybe he’s a Jedi.”

Obi-Wan looked at her skeptically for a few seconds before nodding, and Lucky beeped loudly in agreement. Obi-Wan slowly lifted the man’s body so he could lean against the ruined pilot’s chair. Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, Obi-Wan was in front of her and she couldn’t see the man so she didn’t know what freaked him out. 

Padmé took a step to the left and gasped when she saw blue eyes blearily opening and met her supposed to be burned husband’s gaze. 

  
  



	2. waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé and Obi-Wan deal with the fall out of finding Anakin crashed. The twins are curious about the man, but Padmé and Obi-Wan don’t want to tell them anything till they know what’s going on. Leave it to Lucky to make things even more confusing.
> 
> WARNING: overuse of the word understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dog woke me up at 5am and i couldn’t go back to sleep >:(( anyway im going on vacation in like eight days so hopefully ill write more but tbh idk I try to write whenever I want bc I don’t wanna get burnt out bc it’ll take me FOREVER to finish anyway hope you enjoy!! (Also can’t believe I’m updating back to back)

Anakin saw the eyes of an Angel, or that’s who he thought it was anyway. With the woman’s curly brown hair and soft brown eyes, she sure looked like the angels that the pilots whispered about, her skin looked smooth and soft. “Are you.. a-an Angel?” There was a lot of pain in his abdomen, and he didn’t understand why. He heard a loud inhale almost like a choked sob, and his eyes drifted to the other person near him. It was a man with hair that looked like gold, and his blue eyes were staring right into Anakin’s. In some distant part of his brain it told him that he was pretty. Anakin tried to say the words but they couldn’t come out, he swallowed slowly. The sun shining on him made the two people look radiant. 

Anakin heard worried beeping and lazily drifted his eyes to his droid. He could see the gold, white, and green paint on Lucky swirling together. “H-Hey Lucky.. that l-landing was s-something, huh?” Anakin could barely register himself slurring and stumbling over his words, everything just hurt and it was so so bright. He reached up to his hand to the back of his head and felt something wet and damp. He felt overstimulated, and when he tried to look at his damp hand the man put his hand back down. 

Anakin felt someone poke at his shields and whisper, sleep. Anakin was too tired to refuse, everything turned black around him as he saw the man look at him in confusion, shock, and worry.

-

Lucky beeped at the two as Obi-Wan stared at Anakin sleeping in a bacta tank in shock. He had carried Anakin’s limp bleeding body across his shoulders as Padmé carried the two lightsabers and Lucky trailed after happily, beeping at the sight of his human finally getting help. They had treated Anakin’s wounds the best that they could, but when they saw the hole in Anakin’s stomach they knew they had to get serious medical attention.

Obi-Wan had picked glass shards out of Anakin’s prone form. Leia and Luke looked at the unconscious form in interest and in confusion, but Padmé and Obi-Wan didn’t want them to see his injuries. They also didn’t want them to know who it was. It’d be a little confusing to explain to the almost nine year olds that the father they thought was dead was actually alive. Obi-Wan was still so confused, he didn’t understand how Anakin still had limbs. 

The twins were currently staying at their closest neighbor’s house which was far away and they had to drive in speeders. Their neighbor was an older woman in her late 40s named Maya Kalibar. She was always friendly to them and gave them sugar if they needed it and always happy to watch the twins. 

In the bacta tank, he saw Lichtenberg figures and countless scars littering the young man’s body. He was just so confused, he remembered hearing Anakin’s screams and looking back and seeing him burn on Mustafar. It didn’t make sense he didn’t have any burn marks on his body, and he was only missing one limb, the one Dooku cut off of him in the Battle of Geonosis. He still remembers the Battle like it was yesterday, Mace killing Jango Fett, Dooku easily overpowering Anakin and Obi-Wan, and all the Jedi fighting the battle droids. He remembers Padmé’s fearless stare as she shot countless numbers of droids, and Anakin had her back through it all. 

He was just so confused. Why did Anakin not have any burns? Why was he missing one limb? Why was his Force signature so.. light? Last time Obi-Wan had seen Anakin, Anakin was so angry. His Force signature shrouded him in darkness, he could feel Anakin’s anger and lust for power. Now Anakin’s Force signature was all light and slightly pained and stressed due to his injuries. He just didn’t understand, why wasn’t Anakin injured at all from their battle at Mustafar? 

Obi-Wan remembers Anakin’s betrayal very vividly, like it happened yesterday, not almost nine years ago. He remembers the look in his golden eyes, the anger, the power, and yet those eyes never seemed like Anakin to Obi-Wan. They weren't the eyes Obi-Wan looked down to when he was teaching his Padawan to meditate, they weren't the eyes he looked at on the battlefield with the determined look in them, he just didn't seem like Anakin. It didn't make sense then and it sure as hell didn't make sense now. 

He still regretted hurting Anakin, leaving him to burn, to die, but he was a selfish man. Obi-Wan just couldn’t live in a world where Anakin didn’t, he couldn’t. Obi-Wan knew it would’ve been the merciful thing to do, the Jedi thing to do would’ve been to end his misery and put his lightsaber through the fallen Jedi, but he couldn’t. Obi-Wan loved Anakin, no matter what. Even if he was a fallen Jedi and a Sith Lord, he would always love him. 

The Force around the bacta tank swirled around Anakin, almost like the Force was trying to help Anakin awaken. It wasn’t like Mustafar where the Force was screeching in his ears telling him that something wasn’t right. Right now, the Force was calm and it crooned at her son, the Chosen One. 

Obi-Wan heard the door swing open and Padmé walked in, her eyes immediately going to Anakin. She seemed to hold steady, but she was still a bit shaken up. There was nothing quite like seeing your husband who's supposed to be burned and a Sith Lord all seemingly fine. Obi-Wan didn't want to rule out the jury with him being a Sith yet. He had a red lightsaber and although his eyes weren't that sickly golden color and his Force signature light, he had to be cautious. He couldn't let Padmé, the twins, or himself get hurt. Obi-Wan didn't know if he could handle someone else important to him being taken away from him. Qui-Gon’s and Satine’s deaths never truly left him. 

There were bacta patches on the wound where the large stick (more like a branch or a stump) impaled him. Anakin would probably have a concussion, but he had gotten off relatively lucky. The doctor, Dr. April, a nice woman with dark hair that had some grey on it told them that there were some bones that were broken wrong that had just previously been properly healed no more than two years ago. 

There were scars lining the man’s body, some from sabers, knives, and Lichtenberg Figures. There were stitches healing up wounds on the man’s wrists and some on his thighs. There seemed to be nowhere that the man hadn’t been scarred, Anakin’s face and neck was the only thing that seemed to stay the way it was. 

Anakin still looked so young, his cheekbones were still high and his skin was tan, he had dark circles but the Anakin he remembered was never getting enough sleep, due to diplomatic missions, or the war. If the scars weren't there, he would've thought he was staring at Anakin after a hard battle. Then after Anakin would get out of the bacta tank Obi-Wan would fuss over him and Anakin would assure him that he was fine, and Obi-Wan was overreacting.

”I just don't understand.” Padmé stressed the word, her hand was holding the back of her neck as she walked up to the bacta tank, her shoulder brushing against Obi-Wan’s. They stood shoulder to shoulder, taking comfort in each other’s presence. 

Obi-Wan held out a breath he had been holding, ”I don't understand either… It just doesn't make any sense. At all.”

Padmé turned away from the tank, her eyes watering a bit. ”He turned to the dark side. I felt it. I remember it when I was giving birth to the twins, and now the Force surrounding him is so light like it used to be. Like the Anakin, I remember.”

Obi-Wan turned his back to the bacta tank and gave Padmé a smile that he hoped was convincing. ”We should get heading home, it's getting dark and the twins are probably getting antsy.”

Padmé nodded to him, ”You're right but don't think that we're not talking later.”

Sometimes it still surprised Obi-Wan how perceptive and calculating Padmé still was. She might not be a politician anymore but she was still as perceptive as one. 

They got the twins from their neighbor’s house and hurried home. Dusk was upon them as they opened the door to their house and Lucky greeted them with a whistle. 

”Is the tall man okay?” Leia asked as Padmé and Obi-Wan tucked them in. The twins still shared a room, Obi-Wan and Padmé discovered very early on the twins liked to be together. From being so close in the womb, a doctor once said to them. They also said as they got older they would grow out of it, but at eight years old and almost nine they hadn't yet. 

”Yeah, is he ok?” Luke echoed, yawning. The twins’ room was painted yellow on Luke’s side and purple on Leia’s. Their beds were pushed against the wall on opposite sides. Obi-Wan kneeled next to Leia’s bed pulling her covers over her body as Padmé was sitting on the edge of Luke’s, also pulling the blanket over him. 

”He’ll be fine.” Padmé assured in a soft, soothing voice. She brushed some of Luke’s blonde locks out of his face. Luke looked so similar to Anakin when Padmé had first met him. Luke’s and Anakin’s had the same blonde hair and blue eyes. Leia was like her father too, they both were. ”He just needs some time to rest.” Padmé nodded, she kissed Luke on the forehead and he scrunched his nose.

”Mooom, I'm almost nine.” The way Luke scrunched his nose was very cute but Padmé wouldn't tell him that.

”Ok, whatever you say, big man.” Padmé poked Luke’s nose.

”Can we see him?” Leia asked excitement twinged in her tone, at seeing the mysterious stranger again.

”I don't know.” Obi-Wan replied he didn't want the twins to see him or speak to him till they found out what was going on, why wasn't he injured, why Anakin’s presence was still light despite him being shrouded in darkness on Mustafar, and a million other different questions. 

”Pleaaase?” Leia begged, clasping her hands together. 

Obi-Wan shook his head fondly, tucking some of her brown hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. ”I'll think about it. Goodnight, little ones.” 

”Goodnight Obi and Mom, ” The twins chorused as Padmé and Obi-Wan walked out of their room, shutting the bedroom door behind them. 

Lucky whistled at them, running circles around Padmé and Obi-Wan. “This is definitely Anakin’s droid.” Obi-Wan commented, sat on the couch. He sat his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands and sighed. Padmé flopped down next to him and let out a big breath.

”I just don't understand.” Padmé’s voice shook, and Obi-Wan turned to her. Her eyes were red-rimmed, “I can’t comprehend.. what la going on and who he is. His Force signature is so different from when he was on Mustafar.” 

Obi-Wan tutted, and he wrapped his hands around her waist. He pulled her close and she put her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped under his armpits, her hands lay flat on his back. They embraced each other for a few minutes, not saying a word. He could faintly hear Lucky roll up to the side of the couch. Obi-Wan and Padmé could sit in each other’s presence for hours without saying a word, they could just enjoy being around each other. 

“So..do you wanna talk about it?” Padmé asked, pulling away so they could look into each other’s eyes. She still kept her hands on his back, rubbing soothingly. 

”Do you wanna talk about it?” Obi-Wan rebutted, he tucked a piece of her brown hair behind her ear as he had done with Leia. 

”I asked the question first.” Padmé rebutted back, grinning softly.”I’ll go after you.” 

”I just don't know or understand why he's almost identical to the man I fought side by side for countless battles.” He looked like the man who got mad at him when he faked his death to go undercover as a criminal. Obi-Wan could almost hear Anakin yelling at him now.

”You could've just told me!” Anakin yelled, practically screamed. 

Obi-Wan winced, it was dark outside and they were in the Temple’s gardens. They figured they could meet on neutral grounds. ”I couldn't have! Your reaction sold the deal!”

”Do you really think I'm that bad of an actor? That I couldn't have faked it? I was good on Zygerria flirting with the Queen-”

”Your emotions would have gotten the best of you! Eventually!” Obi-Wan yelled back. 

”You’ve never trusted me!”

”Anakin I know you're angry!-”

Anakin whirled on him, poking a finger in his chest. ”Obi-Wan I'm not just angry, I'm sad! I'm hurt that you don't trust me.” Anakin spun around quickly from Obi-Wan his curly hair flipped around with him, his muscular back facing Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan tried to put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, but he pushed it off. Obi-Wan sighed deeply, ”Anakin, I do trust you. Just listen to me-”

Anakin turned around to face Obi-Wan, ”Master, you're just going to have to give me time. This isn't something I'm going to get over, overnight.”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, ”Y-Yes I understand, Anakin.”

Anakin nodded slowly, turning away from him. His shoulder brushing Obi’s as he walked towards the exit that was behind Obi-Wan. ”Goodnight, Obi-Wan.” Obi-Wan looked at his boots as he heard Anakin’s clack against the pavement. He looked backwards at Anakin’s retreating form and immediately regretted it, seeing Anakin’s shoulders drooping. The biting wind caressed Obi-Wan’s cheek. Obi-Wan wiped the single tear that slipped down his face and sighed.

Leave it to him to always screw up. 

“Besides from the many scars.. he looks exactly like the man who fought in the Clone Wars.” 

Padmé nodded slowly, rubbing circles with her thumb on his back. “He looks like my husband.. the man I fell in love with.. we fell in love with.”

Obi-Wan sighed, “Yes.. he does. That’s what’s throwing me off.. I remember on Mustafar clear as day me defeating him.. and he didn’t go away without losing.. limbs.” Obi-Wan’s voice wobbled at limbs, a reminder of what he had done to his Padawan, the man he loved. 

“I know this is hard for you.” Padmé said, she reached her hand up and cupped Obi-Wan’s cheek, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone. “but you and I will do this like we’ve done everything for the past eight years. Together.”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, leaning into her soft touch. His eyelids fluttered close, he opened his eyes slowly. He pulled away, and held Padmé’s hand in his, kissing her knuckles. “Enough about me, let’s talk about you.”

“I don’t know what to think about it. I mean of course it’s overwhelming and surprising.” Padmé admitted, “I don’t even think I’ve truly processed it yet. It’s just so surreal, the force around him feels light.. he's not burned. He just seems so different from the Anakin we saw on Mustafar.”

“Yeah.. I get it. He doesn’t seem like the Anakin who turned against the Jedi, and saw them as evil.” Obi-Wan spit the word, pulling his hand away from Padmé’s and just setting it on top of hers. 

“He doesn’t seem like the Anakin who.. choked me.” Her voice was surprisingly steady. Padmé had always had trouble dealing with not being able to breathe ever since that day. The air had been misty once day and foggy and she had trouble breathing, Obi-Wan helped her through a panic attack wiping her tears and assuring her everything was going to be fine. 

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, opening his mouth to say something but was cut off by a beep. Padmé and Obi-Wan turned towards the outspoken and loud droid. 

“What is it?” Padmé asked. Obi-Wan never really understood how close Anakin could be with a droid, like it was a human, but it was one of Anakin’s quirks Obi-Wan found endearing. 

The droid beeped again and Padmé turned towards Obi-Wan. He said the same words he had said to a curly haired man with broad shoulders a very long time ago, “I’m not a protocol droid.”

Lucky whistled, as if exasperated. A projection showed up from the droid’s head. It was Anakin, the Anakin who was in the bacta tank. Anakin was in a hangar, under the ship he had crashed in. Lucky, who was the one recording, beeped and Anakin slid out from under it. He had on beige trousers and a white tank top, a color Obi-Wan rarely saw Anakin in. Anakin looked a bit malnourished but he still had muscle and his broad shoulders. He looked at Padmé and she stared in wonder at the holo, he turned his attention back to it.

“What do you want, little guy?” Anakin grabbed a small washcloth that was near him and wiped his oil soaked hands. Oil still stained his tank top and pants though, why he wore such light colors while working on a ship Obi-Wan didn’t know.

Lucky whistled again and Anakin cracked a small smile, he walked over towards Lucky, patting his head and sitting in front of him. “You want me to what? Tell you what I’m naming my ship? How do you know I’m naming it?”

Lucky beeped again, and even to Obi-Wan who didn’t speak binary it sounded snarky. Anakin laughed slightly, a wide grin on his face. “Because I name everything? You got me there. Wellll… I had this ship in the war, I told you about that right?” Anakin grabbed another tool that was behind Lucky and he walked back into frame, sliding under the ship. “No? Guess I’ll have to tell you about it another time. Anyway, I was married to this Senator. I know I told you about her.. yeah I told you about Obi-Wan too,” Obi-Wan paused for a second Anakin talked about him and Padmé to a droid? It sounded like him and Obi-Wan snorted slightly, “anyway.. I had this ship the Azure Angel. I named it after her, because the first time I met her I asked her if she was an Angel.”

“Anyway, the first Azure Angel crashed and I have no idea where the second one is.. carrying on, I just wanted something stable.. something I remembered. Something from my old life, kinda funny how the war seems so appealing to me now.” Obi-Wan and Padmé both pulled faces at that, what did he mean? “Just something from before.. before what.. I had to endure.” Anakin slid out from under the ship, his eyes slightly watery. “Ugh, I am so sick of crying. All the damn time. Anakin threw the wrench, kicking a box nearby the ship in the hangar. “I can’t even say it.” Lucky beeped worryingly and ran over towards Anakin, bumping into his leg. The holo view was basically just seeing Anakin’s pant leg but Obi-Wan and Padmé didn’t care. 

“Yeah.. I know buddy.. it’s just.. so hard for me to say what happened-“ The holo blipped out and Obi-Wan looked at him in disbelief. 

“Play the rest of it!” Obi-Wan demanded and Lucky beeped at him like he had no idea what he was talking about and rolled away quickly. 

“We’ve been played by a droid.” Padmé drawled, sighing.

“We have.” Obi-Wan said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let’s go to bed, the Force knows it’s been a very long day.” 

Padmé nodded, kissing his cheek and wishing him goodnight. Obi-Wan headed to his room that was right next to Padmé’s and down the hall from the twins. He quickly got changed into more comfortable clothes, and he crawled into bed. His eyes fluttered close and he dreamed of Anakin in white and Padmé in gold and himself in black. 

When Obi-Wan slowly opened his eyes he was looking at Luke’s bright blue ones. He was still half asleep, and barely processed Luke smiling at him, “What is it, Luke?” Obi-Wan said, stretching his arms. 

Luke spoke quickly, his lips moved so fast Obi-Wan almost didn’t understand him, “Mommy said the man was awake!” And just like that Obi-Wan was wide awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y’all enjoyed the chapter!! I just kinda wanted to focus on Obi-Wan and Padmé for a chapter to process their emotions before jumping back into anakins POV, also like it’s not really clicking that Vader’s a clone bc it’s not like when your friend is acting weird you’re not gonna act like OMFG DEF A CLONE despite there being actual clones (still deciding whether Rex should show up or not in this one w/ Ahsoka) I just don’t think that’s what they automatically assume, also the force is basically just like “finally my son is reunited with the two people he’s in love with <333” NGL I had to make Anakin call Padmé an Angel for meeting again for the first time in about nine years or so 
> 
> ALSO UR PROBABLY LIKE WHY IS LUCKY RECORDING well basically Anakin has a hard time opening up even to a droid (even though Lucky has legit seen Anakin sob after getting torture) he files everything Anakin tells him away. ALSO HE cuts it off bc mainly he stopped recording there bc he can fell Anakins about to have a breakdown and he doesn’t want to record it for anyone to see on his files. also mainly Lucky is just a tease and he wanted to show them Anakin wasnt a bad person bc the doubt is still there in their heads, bc NO ONE left Mustafar w/out some trauma I don’t really touch on how Obi-Wan and Padmé have doubts that much but it’ll appear in the next and later chapters :))
> 
> also yes Obi-Wan and Padmé are like high key physically intimate (ex: holding hands, kissing knuckles or cheeks or whatever) BC THEYRE KINDA ALL EACH OTHER HAS and the twins ofc bc they have no idea what’s happened to Ahsoka or Rex or anyone they use to know 
> 
> ALSO I WENT OVER THIS CHAPTER like checking it so quickly while my mom was yelling at me so sorry if there’s any mistakes 
> 
> I think I covered anything that might not make sense but if not I’ll come back and add more :)) hope y’all enjoyed! hope you have a great day morning or night! remember you are loved <333


	3. revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin figures out Padmé is alive and tells her and Obi-Wan who exactly was on Mustafar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS !! hope y’all enjoy the latest chapter! (Also edited this fast so sorry)

Anakin first woke up to being in a bacta tank, his stomach was stinging and he didn’t have much control of his body. He was still half unconscious in a way, his eyes just felt so heavy. He didn’t stay conscious for long. The next time he woke he was hooked up to wires, and it was very bright. 

Anakin let out a little groaning sound, and held his palm to his eyes.

“I’m sorry about that.” A woman’s voice said, the lights dimmed. Anakin slowly looked at the woman and she gave him a smile, “I'm Dr. April, nice to meet you.”

“Am I on Tatooine? Where’s Dr. Zalachi? Where are the kyber crystals? I need to get up..” Anakin swung his legs over the side of the bed, his head was pounding and his abdomen was stinging like hell, but he had dealt with worse. He had dealt with Sidious and Vader. He could do this.

“Sir I’m going to have to ask you to get back on the bed-“

“I’m fine. I need to get off this backwater planet, where’s my ship?”

“S-Sir!” Dr. April put her hand flat on Anakin’s chest, he now just realized he was wearing a flimsy hospital gown that hung barely above his knee, or was closer to mid thigh. Anakin felt his ears turn red, and he was sure his cheeks were also red along with his neck. “Please sit down and let me explain everything.”

“Look, Dr. April I have places to be, I have things to do - very important things so I’d appreciate it if you-“

“You should listen to the doctor.” Anakin looked above the doctor’s head and stared into the eyes of Obi-Wan Kenobi. His throat felt dry and he felt underdressed, Obi-Wan was going to kill him- he probably thought he was Vader, he was going to die by Obi-Wan putting his saber through him.

“I-I.. uhm..” Anakin said lamely, he turned towards the bed and sat on it, trying to pull down the gown. He didn’t know what was going on, he distinctly remembers looking at the charts and seeing that he was landing on a planet called Bakura. He didn’t know why Obi-Wan was here, and how he was in a hospital. 

“Ok, thank you.” Dr. April said, letting out a deep exhale, “You crash landed into a thick forest, a very thick branch impaled you. Lucky for you, Mr. and Mrs. Nak found you-“ Mr and Mrs? Nak? “Unconscious and they got you, if you stayed there for longer you would be dead. Mr. Starkiller, you are very lucky to be alive.” Starkiller, guess we’re using undercover names. 

”Okay.” Anakin said, nodding. He needed to get off this planet, get Obi-Wan’s stare off of him. 

”Ok I have a few more patients to check up on but I'll check back with you in about an hour.” Dr. April gave him a friendly smile and turned and left. 

As soon as the Doctor left Obi-Wan was on him, Anakin stared down at his feet and he heard Obi-Wan step up to him. ”Who are you?”

Anakin looked up and met his blue eyes, his head tilted a little bit in confusion, ”What?”

”Who. Are. You?” Obi-Wan bit out, ”You aren't the Anakin I last saw.. you're not burned.”

Anakin snorted a bit, remembering the time he told Vader he breathed out of a harmonica. ”I am Anakin Skywalker.”

”Are you?” Obi-Wan countered, sauntering forward. Anakin was still sitting down so he had to look up to Obi-Wan. Haven't had to look up to him since I was around sixteen. ”I have no reason to believe you right now.. You could be a changeling.”

”You're right.” Anakin breathed out, ”you're absolutely right. You have no reason to trust me, none at all. As far as you know I'm the man who killed younglings, betrayed you, and.. killed Padmé and my unborn child.” Anakin’s voice wobbled at ”Padmé”, it was still hard all these years later. Padmé died thinking he was the one to kill her. 

Obi-Wan nodded, glance flashing from the closed door to Anakin. “Anakin.. there is something you need to know.”

Anakin pulled a face, “Yeah, you probably have a lot to tell me but,” Anakin stood on his legs and put a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and ignored the way his former Master flinched. He thinks you're a monster, some part of his mind whispered. He ignored how that tiny flinch pained him. “Did you get the kyber crystals?”

“Kyber crystals?” Obi-Wan echoed, confused.

“I had kyber crystals on my ship and I need you to find them before anyone else gets them. They’re in a hidden compartment near the floorboard of the ship near where you put your feet. It shouldn’t have gotten damaged. You should bring Lucky with you though, just in case.”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, “Anakin there’s seriously something I need to tell you-“

“Is Anakin awake?” A feminine voice said, and it sounded oddly familiar, too familiar. 

Anakin heard the door swing open and he looked to the person opening it to meet the brown eyes of his dead wife. The Force around him started swirling more quickly, and he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Mrs. Nak, he recalled back to himself. Obi-Wan and Padmé were married?

Anakin wanted to throw up, get out of this small room. He drew in his breaths quicker and quicker, trying to catch it. He felt Obi-Wan get him to sit up on the bed, he stared at his hands. The same hands Vader used to choke her. 

“I-I’m so sorry.” He sobbed out and he couldn’t look at those eyes. Palpatine and Vader just loved showing him Mustafar. The face of his wife as she gasped for air, the look on Obi-Wan’s face as he realized Anakin had fallen, he always tried to reject the memories but the Siths always forced it on him. 

He closed his eyes and felt a small, manicured hand slowly put their hand on his back. “Hey, it’s okay.” Padmé said in a hushed voice, rubbing his back. She had done this same thing during the war, he would have flashbacks when he heard fireworks and he’d see the faces of his dead troopers on the ground, he was too slow to save them. He’d usually find some place small to hide, whether it’s a bathtub or a closet or a droid compartment. 

He just needed to be away from the sounds. Padmé would eventually always find him, fitting into the small space with him. It was always a right fit, he was six foot with broad shoulders and a narrow waist and she was small, so much smaller than him. He was always scared of accidentally hurting her, scaring her. She would slowly coax him out of his hiding place, and take him to bed. She’d help him change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle up to him. She’d sometimes press their chests together with Anakin’s head buried into the crook of her neck, or occasionally she would be big spoon. They probably looked a bit odd due to their height difference but she would press her chest against his back and wrap her arms around his skinny waist, pulling him closer to her. Cuddling was something Anakin enjoyed but would tell no one. He especially loved doing it with Padmé, he loved having her in his arms or vice versa. He felt comforted with the thought that no one could take her away from him with him there. 

“I-I’m sorry.. he.. I.. killed you.” Anakin stuttered out, he felt tears running down his face. Crying is a waste of water, came back to him, an old Tatooine saying the adults would say to the young ones. “I couldn’t save you.. it was all my fault. I couldn’t.. I was so.. h-helpless.” Anakin was barely aware that he was rambling, so caught up in the fact that his wife was in front of him. 

“Aren’t I here next to you, right now?” Padmé told him, “Just focus on my voice, here.” She took her hand off his back and grabbed his hand, her hand was so smooth against his callused, scarred hand, but it had always been that way. She made his hand lay flat against her chest, and he felt the rise and fall of her chest.

“See? Alive and breathing.. Can you breathe with me, Anakin?” His eyes were still screwed closed, and he slowly tried to copy her breathing. He felt Obi-Wan slide in from behind him putting his chest to Anakin’s back and picking up where Padmé left off with soothingly rubbing his back. It almost felt like Obi-Wan was touching him, the hospital ground was so thin. Anakin knew if he was in his right state of mind he would’ve short circuited with Obi-Wan touching him so softly, so chastely, so intimately. It was a simple gesture, but it was oddly intimate. 

Obi-Wan’s and Padmé’s force signatures were so soothing, they flowed calmly while he was sure his was moving quickly, erratically. He tried to copy Padmé’s breathing and tried to calm his force signature. Obi-Wan’s mouth was near his ear, murmuring assures words that Anakin barely heard. Anakin slowly opened his eyes, and met the brown of Padmé’s. She offered him a smile, and now that his head was cleared he could feel their uneasiness, their distrust. He slowly took his hand off her chest, but Obi-Wan continued to rub circles into his back.

“You’re alive.” Was all Anakin said, he looked her over. She looked healthy and still looked as beautiful as ever, she still had a steady, calculating, perceptive stare. She looked as in control as ever, she was always stronger than him.

She nodded slowly, he could tell she didn’t trust him but that was fine. He didn’t really except her to, after everything he, Vader had done. “You’re...” Padmé trailed off.

“Unburned.” Obi-Wan finished off, he slowly moved back, moving to sit besides Padmé. He looked healthy too, his hair was still as golden as ever and his blue eyes stared right into his own. 

Anakin nodded slowly, he felt his hair bob with him. His hair was slightly longer than it had been at the end of the Clone Wars, it was blonder too, bleached by the Tatooine sun. “Yes.” Was all he said, he didn’t know what to say. How do you tell someone that you’ve been cloned and now your clone is the Emperor’s lap dog? Sorry, right hand. 

“W-What? How..” Padmé trailed off lamely. Obi-Wan nodded besides her. 

“I had gone to see Chancellor Palpatine to tell him about how Obi-Wan had engaged General Grievous.” The day was flooding back to him, the last truly normal day of his life before it all fell down. “He told me that he was sorry that the Council didn’t appreciate my talents.” His eyes looked towards his mechanical hand, which was clenched in a fist. “He was sorry that I wasn’t granted the role of Master. He told me the Jedi didn’t trust me, didn’t trust my power. He told me that there was a way to save Padmé..” He looked up and met her eyes, she stared at him nodding at him to continue. “I had nightmares of you, dying in childbirth. I couldn’t lose you like I lost my mother… so he told me that he could show me a way to save you, and in doing so he revealed himself as a Sith Lord. I drew my lightsaber, but I decided to put it away and go tell the Council.. to do something right for once. I didn't think he was going to get the jump on me, he seemed so collected I thought he would let me go.. he didn’t.”

“I woke up strapped down to a metal table and I looked to my side and saw myself sitting up on a metal table, I had been cloned.” Anakin spit out the word.

Padmé and Obi-Wan looked at each other, he could tell they didn’t believe him. “How can we believe you?” Padmé said. 

“This could be a lie.” Obi-Wan added on, his eyes narrowing. 

Anakin sighed, and looked up to them. “Perhaps it would be better if I just.. showed you.” He reached up to Padme’s and Obi-Wan’s temples, his middle and index finger on them, still kind of shaky from his panic attack, and suddenly their surroundings shifted. 

_Obi-Wan saw himself in a dark brick room, he looked at his hands and they seemed to be kind of faded. His whole body was faded now that he thought of it. Probably because this wasn’t his memory, he wasn’t even here._

_He looked up and true to Anakin’s words, he was on a metal table. He was stripped down to just black pants. He saw his sapphire blue eyes slowly flutter open, and looked to where Anakin looked. He gasped, jaw agape as he stared at the exact identical copy of Anakin. The man, Not-Anakin, had a smirk on his face that looked so unAnakin. Sure, Anakin smirked but this seemed malicious… evil, unsettling._

_“W-Who are you?” Anakin croaked, he seemed to be under heavy anesthetics._

_“I’m the better version of you.” Not-Anakin said, he also only had pants on. He was leaning against the metal table, his elbows on it, a few feet away from Anakin, faced the same way._

_Anakin’s face screwed up and looked him up and down. He reached out slightly with the Force, “Not exactly. I seem to have the higher midichlorian count.” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes slightly at Anakin’s cocky attitude._

_“That’s a minor thing.” Not-Anakin snarled, pushing off his elbows and walking over to where Anakin was laying flat his hands and ankles strapped. Not-Anakin’s fingers skimmed over Anakin’s forearm and bicep. He just gave Anakin a smile. He let his hands skim over Anakin’s torso and a few scars. Anakin shook in anger, trying to break free from his restraints but failing._

_“I don’t have things holding me back like you do.” Not-Anakin murmured, “I don’t have my past holding me back, like you. I bet if I turned you around you’d have some scars, right? From your slave days.”_

_Anakin spit at Not-Anakin’s face, and the smile disappeared on the clone’s face. His hand went to Anakin’s throat, not quite squeezing just gently gripping. It was enough to bruise. “Look, I am the superior you. Despite having the less midichlorian count. That’s just a temporary setback.” His thumb brushed over the place where Anakin’s neck meets his jaw. “My Master, Darth Sidious, would’ve killed you but.. unfortunately we have developed a.. Force Bond.” He spat out the word Bond like it was poison. “It’s dangerous for me, not as much as you.”_

_“I’m glad.” Anakin spat out, glaring up at his clone who could very easily cut off his air supply. “It’ll make it easier when I kill you.”_

_Not-Anakin just squeezed a little bit harsher, making Anakin have to wheeze a little bit to get the necessary air he needed to breathe._

_“At ease, my Apprentice.” The familiar voice of Chancellor Palpatine said. He stalked in, wearing an expensive looking outfit, with Nabooian patterns._

_Not-Anakin let go of Anakin’s throat and took a couple steps back. The Chancellor squeezed Not-Anakin’s shoulder reassuringly. “You should go change, Vader. Go tell the Council that I’m the Sith Lord and everything will go exactly according to plan.” Not-Anakin nodded, and bowed his head before exiting the room._

_Anakin clenched his teeth as the soon to be Emperor stalked over to him. He screwed his eyes shut as the Chancellor started playing with Anakin’s hair. Obi-Wan wanted to rip his hand away from Anakin. Anakin had a look of disgust on his face._

_“Get your hands off me.” Anakin said in an assertive tone, but the Sith Lord didn’t stop, he raked his fingers through Anakin’s golden curls and yanked his hair slightly._

_“You’re mine now.” Palpatine said, “The Chosen One is a pretty good trophy, don’t you think? At least until you turn. Once you turn, we can get rid of Vader.” Palpatine’s thumb brushed over Anakin’s pulse point, as if reminding him how easily it would be to kill him._

_“Go to hell.” Anakin grit out._

_Palpatine just gave Anakin’s curls a small tug and gave him a small smile. “Till next time, Anakin.” Then Palpatine left the room, leaving Anakin strapped in the room_. 

The scene faded out, and soon Obi-Wan was aware of the bright light of the hospital, Anakin’s fingers were gone from their temples and Padmé blinked at Anakin.

“You were cloned?” Padmé said in disbelief, “I always thought you were odd there.. well he was odd there but.. I never thought you were a torso different person.”

“Where were you?” Obi-Wan asked, eyes light with curiosity and pity. “You were gone for years.”

“I was on Mustafar in Vader’s palace.” Anakin said, eyes on his hands.

“You were, there?” Obi-Wan asked. Mustafar hadn’t been kind to anyone, especially Anakin. “How did you-“ Obi-Wan bit off his sentence but Obi-Wan knew that Anakin knew what he was going to say. How did you survive?

Padmé bit her lip, looking in between the two men. 

“I-I don’t wanna talk about it.” Anakin said quietly. Padmé nodded to him, and he knew Obi-Wan wanted to but Obi-Wan looked away, sighed and nodded. 

Anakin had only woken up maybe an hour ago and he was already ready for this day to be over. He was overwhelmed with revealing that much information. He had had a panic attack in front of people, which was something he never did. He knew he had known these two people for years, he loved them, but he hadn’t opened up to anyone in years. He told Sanna a few things and told Lucky a lot but it wasn’t the same. Anakin willed his eyes and forced himself not to cry, he wasn’t the same man he was when he escaped. He was so sick of crying.

He felt Padmé’s finger run over his jaw and his breath hitched. “It’s going to be okay, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said in a low voice. “You're with us now, nothing can hurt you now.” Anakin acted like he believed it and nodded slowly. Anakin knew now that promises always broke over time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl this took a while longer and IDK why but it’s fine.
> 
> OK to recap and explain some things further, Anakin basically blames himself for Padmé’s death. He couldn’t fight off Palpatine from cloning him and therefore let Vader get to her. He also tells Padmé and Obi-Wan right away and shows them the memory bc he loves + misses them. For about nine years he was heartbroken bc they believed Vader was Anakin, so they believed he choking Padmé, he turned and he fought Obi-Wan. He desperately wants them to believe him, he needs reassurance and love. I hope I didn’t skip over the part where Anakin found out Padmé was alive too badly. Like he obviously had a panic attack about it, and it’s impressive That he’s still up to talk to them right afterwards. In MY opinion Anakin is very used to having panic attack’s and is focused on not having another one by focusing on the Force around him.
> 
> Vader as you can see HATES Anakin that’s bc he know he’s basically just a replacement for him, he is LITERALLY a clone of him. The reason his midichlorian count is less than anakin’s is bc they’re VERY hard to clone. That’s not saying his isn’t high, it is but not higher than anakin’s. Vader’s is definitely less than let’s say Yoda, but most likely higher than Obi-Wan’s. Anyway later in the story we’ll find out WHY Anakin’s and Vader’s bond only effects Vader. By the way Anakin essentially just is always blocking Vader out.
> 
> HAVE A GREAT MORNING AFTERNOON OR NIGHT!! remember you are loved and I love you all VERY MUCH!!


	4. mistrust & choice meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan retrieves the kyber crystals with Lucky and something else. Padmé and Obi-Wan are still on edge around Anakin, and Anakin meets our favorite twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK WHY THIS TOOK SO LONG LIKE WHY?? this is kinda bad but I hope y’all enjoy <33 the formatting is kinda fucked up and idek why. anyway enjoy!

Obi-Wan trudged to the part in the forest where Anakin crashed with Lucky beeping beside him. He had no idea what he was saying, but luckily enough he brought a transmitter with him. He still had no idea why and how Anakin learned binary. It was probably the amount of time he spent around droids as a Padawan and then a Knight. He was watching his step to make sure he didn’t step in mud or anything. 

“Where did he even get kyber crystals?” Obi-Wan mused to himself, “They’re illegal, but I guess that’s never stopped him before.”

They finally reached the part where Anakin crashed, many trees were still knocked down and he could see the gleam of Anakin’s  _ Azure Angel III.  _ He stalked over to the ship and bent the hull of the ship the other way so it wouldn’t impale him when he sat in the pilot’s chair. How Anakin got away with only a row of stitches he would never know. 

He reached down to where his feet laid near and felt the metal of the ship for a secret compartment. Obi-Wan managed to find a small dip in the metal and opened it wide open. He reached into it and found a brown bag, he opened it wide open and was met with the sight of countless kyber crystals. He breathed in deeply, he felt the force coming off of them. 

With the crystals, Luke and Leia could have their  _ own  _ lightsabers. Something of their own, not just practicing with Anakin’s old one or his own saber. The thought brought Obi-Wan joy, he would love to see the look on the twins faces as they realized they could have their own. They were turning nine, the same age as Anakin when he became his Padawan. Obi-Wan wondered what color their sabers would glow, maybe blue? or green? Purple? Gold? The options were endless. 

They still hadn’t told Anakin about the twins yet. Him and Padmé wanted to do it together, as a joint unit. Padmé told him Anakin was so excited to be a father, and Obi-Wan believed it. His and Ahsoka’s relationship proved it. When Anakin taught in the créche, Anakin acted like he preferred not to be taught, but Obi-Wan knew it was a front. He remembers walking by while Anakin was teaching a lesson and he saw the way the younglings adored him. He saw braids in his hair after he taught and decided not to say anything about it. He knew the little girls in there had braided his hair, and Anakin allowed them to. 

Obi-Wan saw a comm link in the compartment and reached out for it. There were other makeshift hilts in the compartment, like Anakin was preparing hilts. Lucky beeped at him when Obi-Wan checked the comm link’s log. 23 missed messages and 9 missed calls from one Sanna Zalachi. He looked over the messages, he was aware this was an invasion of privacy and that Anakin trusted Padmé and Obi-Wan enough to share his past, but he wanted to know what Anakin had been up to. He just hoped Anakin wouldn’t be  _ too  _ mad at him. 

_ Sanna: Where are you? Call me back. _

_ Sanna: Ro’vida is getting worried. I did the chip surgeries no problem. _

_ Sanna: Apparently the Sentinel is dead? Anakin what happened? _

That didn’t make any sense.. unless Anakin  _ was  _ the famed bounty hunter Padmé and Bail talked about. It actually made a lot of sense, the bounty hunter did carry a saber. He snickered at the thought of Anakin using a lightsaber and guns. Anakin loved his saber but ever since he was a youngling he thought guns were cool, and if they got to use guns on mission Anakin always had a giddy expression.

_ Sanna: Did you really kill another Inquisitor? _

Another? It didn’t surprise Obi-Wan but Anakin needed to work on not drawing attention to himself, guess some things never changed. Obi-Wan decided not to snoop anymore and pocket the comm link. 

“Come on, Lucky.” He said, hopping out of the ship and walking back home.

-

Anakin boredly looked over Padmé’s holo. “It’s kind of sad how censored this is.” He mused to himself, looking at the holonews. It talked about the incoming Empire Day and how great Emperor Palpatine is. They couldn’t be farther than the truth. He knew logically people didn’t like the Emperor but were scared to speak up. They had spouses, kids, parents, cousins,  _ family  _ to think of. 

“I try not to watch it.” Padmé said to him. Anakin laid under the covers with his legs tucked under him. The blankets were too small to accommodate him but he didn’t care. Padmé sat next to Anakin on one of the stiff hospital chairs, how she was managing it he had no idea. He slept more comfortably on the rocky hard floor of Vader’s Mustafar Palace than one of those chairs. 

“I can see why.” Anakin snorted as he turned off Padmé’s holo. He held it out in his hand for her to take, despite the fact that her smooth fingers barely even glided over his callused, scarred skin. It made shivers go down his spine. “So.. you’re still in contact with Bail?”

“Yes, why?” Padmé asked as she got up, back popping. She winced slightly as she sat at the end of Anakin’s bed. 

“I don’t know it’s just…” Anakin trailed off, putting one of his arms behind his head. “Thought you’d be a part of the Rebellion that’s all. You are Padmé Amidala after all. You hate the Empire more than everything, you believe in democracy.”

Padmé gave him a small smile, “You know me I don’t believe in this.. dictatorship. That’s what it is, the Imperial Senate is just there for formality. To put up a front of democracy, but in the end the Chancellor- sorry  _ Emperor,  _ can veto or override any bill the Senate votes on, doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right just that it’s in his best interest, not the people’s. It’s not like he shows up to the Senate much anymore, Bail tells me he only shows up to the meetings if there’s a bill he needs passed, mainly a representative is in his place.”

“So, why don’t I join the Rebellion?” Padmé said, echoing the question Anakin had asked her. “I have responsibilities.. that I can’t risk.”

Anakin pulled a confused expression, “What do you mean? What responsibilities-“

Anakin was cut off by Dr. April coming in and checking on him. She asked him about his pain, how he was feeling, and gave him more pain killers. He’d just have to ask Padmé later. “Luckily you’ll probably be able to leave by tomorrow.” Dr. April said, scribbling something down on her datapad.  _ Probably something doctorly,  _ Anakin thought distantly. 

“It’s incredible that you healed this quickly.” Dr. April said, she made him lift up his gown so she could check on the wound on his stomach. It looked the same, now it just had a long stitch down the middle. “I’m very surprised none of your organs were punctured, it’s a miracle. You’re very lucky to be alive and not be as injured as you could’ve been.”

Obi-Wan walked in as Dr. April left, carrying Anakin’s com link and the bag of kyber crystals. “It probably wasn’t the brightest idea to bring them here.” Anakin said, holding his hand out for the items. “Also you didn’t have to get my com link.”

Obi-Wan shrugged, “It’s not like anyone will recognize the crystals, they are in a bag. Anyway I saw you had some messages-“

“Did you read them?” Anakin asked, narrowing his eyes on Obi-Wan.

“Yes.” Obi-Wan admitted slowly, he could feel Anakin’s tension rising in the Force.

“Who the Kriff gave you permission to look through my stuff?” Anakin grumbled, glowering at Obi-Wan. Anakin closed his eyes and breathed and his force signature leveled out. He reopened his eyes but didn’t look at Obi-Wan. Anakin put up his shields, not wanting to show them he was still unhappy. He knew Obi-Wan did it because he still didn’t exactly trust Anakin, he was weary of him. Anakin ignored the anger prickling his skin. He hadn’t had a lot of privacy in years, anytime someone invaded that privacy it rubbed him the wrong way. 

“You got some messages from a Dr. Sanna Zalachi.” Obi-Wan said, sitting on the stiff white hospital chair that Padmé had previously sat in. Padmé still sat on the edge of his bed. 

Anakin nodded and looked through the messages. He slowly scrolled through them, the Hutt’s were still as clueless as ever but they were catching on slowly that some slaves were escaping. Apparently Ro’vida had sensed more force sensitive slaves, and she was working on recruiting them. 

“So.. you’re the Sentinel?” Obi-Wan asked as Anakin was still going through messages. 

Padmé took a sharp intake of breath, “You're the Sentinel? The bounty hunter with the lightsaber?”

“Yes.” Anakin said mildly, he knew he was infamous for his battles with Inquisitors, and how he never got caught. He didn’t think his adventures would reach a backwater planet like Bakura though. He shouldn’t be surprised though, he had done jobs and helped rebel’s escape, Bail must’ve told Padmé about him. 

“I really need to leave this planet.” Anakin murmured to himself, he had thought he said it without the two leaving but Obi-Wan’s and Padmé’s heads shot up to stare at him. 

“Why?” Padmé asked, hurt evident in her voice. “We’ve just found you after all this time.. there’s still so  _ much  _ we haven’t told you yet.”

Anakin sighed, meeting Padmé’s gaze. “It’s not like I want to leave.. I have responsibilities. People to take care of, people to train, slaves to free.. and you two look like your lives haven’t been total shit without me. I can’t drag you into this.. war.” Anakin laughed a little bitterly to himself, “Guess I’ll never stop being General Skywalker.”

Padmé gave Anakin a look and out her hand overtop his. “Just.. stay till you’re fully recovered. You will have a recovery period.”

Anakin gave her a small smile, “Okay.. Just till I’m recovered.”

“Just till you’re recovered.” Padmé echoed. She shared a little look with Obi-Wan who nodded slowly. “We have some people we want you to meet.”

Anakin quirked an eyebrow, as Padmé gave him a small smile. “Just stay there for a second.” She left the room, leaving Obi-Wan and Anakin alone.

He could feel the tension in the air, swimming between them, thick enough to cut with a saber and still not budge. “Why did you look through my stuff?” Anakin broke the silence, his voice breaking slightly.

Obi-Wan let out a small sigh, “Anakin, I know you revealed something that was..  _ not  _ easy to do by any standards but… you’re still-“

“The guy who choked his wife and fell, yes, I know.” Anakin snapped, his voice bitter. He was so sick of being compared to  _ Vader.  _ Vader was a monster, he was something else. Anakin couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of pity for the man. Vader might not know what slavery was like, but Anakin did. He was on a tighter leash then Anakin was when Watto was his Master. Anakin can still remember the feeling of a whip hitting his back, and watching blood start to pour from his mother’s poor back. His mother was  _ so  _ strong. She was as strong as a Krayt Dragon, maybe even stronger. 

Obi-Wan sighed, looking down at his feet before looking back at Anakin and pulling his chair up so it was closer to his hospital bed. Anakin turned to look at Obi-Wan, blue eyes meeting his. “I’m sorry, Anakin.. I just.. can’t take any chances. Your force presence.. it is  _ light,  _ but.. I can still sense the darkness on you.”

Anakin didn’t blame him for that, he was blanketed in darkness for seven years. Once he was finally free, he wasn’t scared to sometimes draw on the darker sides of the Force. He didn’t let it consume him, he wasn’t going to  _ fall.  _ He would never fully plummet into that side of the Force, he usually drew the lighter side of the Force, but sometimes in the heat of battle it was just  _ easier.  _

Anakin nodded slowly he saw his curly hair get into his line of vision but ignored it, he slowly put his hand on top of Obi-Wan’s and squeezed it slightly, he looked down at their hands and his breath hitched slightly. Anakin gave him a small smile, “I-I get it…I..  _ he..  _ did terrible things. He hurt you and Padmé. I don’t blame you.. it’s just.. it’s frustrating. I’m not him but I’ve seen what he did.. sometimes it just feels like I did that.. like I hurt you two.. I never want to do that. I’ll die before I do the same as him.”

“You won’t.” Obi-Wan said and looked up and tucked a curl behind Anakin’s ear. He took a sharp inhale as his fingers brushed over the skin of his ear, that simple touch put him on edge. 

_ How touch starved are you, Skywalker?  _ He scolded himself mentally. He could feel the tips of his ears heat up, as emotions he kept bottled from the war sprung up. 

“Anakin..” Obi-Wan smiled, drawing his hand back, “We should talk-“

The door swung open and Anakin looked to see Padmé holding a little girl with her dark brown hair and eyes, and a little boy with hair spun gold and eyes as blue as the lakes on Naboo. Anakin looked confused as Padmé sat the girl on the edge of his bed and the boy helped himself up on the bed. Their eyes were both wide as they took Anakin in.

“Luke, Leia.” Padmé said, looking at Obi-Wan and Anakin with suspicion in her face before looking at  _ Luke and Leia?  _ “This is Anakin Skywalker. Anakin.. this is Luke and Leia Naberrie-Skywalker.”

Anakin drew in a sharp breath as his eyes gazed at Padmé’s children,  _ his  _ children. He had twins? They survived? He was grateful for Padmé to be alive, it was a gift, but he didn’t expect his children to be alive too. It truly was a blessing from the Force. 

The twins smiled at him, as Luke crawled towards him, sitting on his legs. Leia sat next to her twin brother. Padmé let out a little warning to be careful but Anakin couldn’t care in that moment. His son had his mother’s nose and her smile. His daughter was practically a carbon copy of her mother, but Anakin could see traces of himself in her features. Anakin wanted to hug them both tightly, and never let them leave him but he needed to wait for them. 

“Where were you?” Leia asked, getting straight to the point.  _ More like her mother in more than looks,  _ Anakin thought to himself. 

“Leia!-“ Padmé whispered, “that was very rude, you can’t just-“

“It’s fine, Padmé.” He said, giving her a smile. His heart was still racing from the fact that his children were  _ alive.  _ He could hear the heart monitor beeping steadily with the quick and fast pace of his heart. It probably seemed like he was going to have a heart attack soon, and maybe he would. 

“I was in a bad place.” He said seriously, and the twins looked at him curiously, sensing a story. “With bad people and they didn’t want to let me go, so I escaped.”

“Why didn’t you come back to us after that?” Leia asked quickly. 

“I had to do some things first.” He told her, he still had to do things. He had to free Tatooine of slave rule. He was the  _ Sky Walker,  _ the Ekkerth. It was his duty to free the slaves. “I still have to do some things, it was for a promise I made a long time ago.”

“Oh.” Leia said, adopting a look Padmé had when she was worried in between Senate meetings about a bill not getting passed.

Luke crawled up his body, ignoring the protests from his mother and wrapped his arms around Anakin’s neck and gave him a hug. “I’m sorry you were with bad people.” His voice was slightly muffled by Anakin’s hospital gown. 

Leia nodded in agreement, and buried herself in Anakin’s side, wrapping her hands around Anakin’s torso. He winced slightly as she hugged a little too tightly, but it was the first time his children hugged him. His children  _ were alive.  _ He had twins! It was still all too fresh for him to process, his mind was spinning. 

“Why don’t you get off your father before you strangle him?” Padmé suggested. She was probably still worried about his wound, but it was a dull throb at this point. 

Leia and Luke pulled back with worried looks on their face. “Here, how about I tell you some stories about Obi-Wan and your mom?” Anakin asked, wanting to get those sad expressions on their faces.

Leia and Luke immediately perked up, nodding. Anakin grinned, sitting up slightly as he started to narrate a tale, “It started when your mom, a Queen at the time, and Obi-Wan, a Jedi Padawan, crash landed on Tatooine, my home planet-“

-

Obi-Wan and Padmé stood out in the hallway, sometimes looking back in the room to see the twins looking at their father as he narrated stories from his Padawan years, the war, and a few new ones that Obi-Wan and Padmé hadn’t heard before. 

“I-I know it’s him.” Padmé said, looking in the room to stare at them then back at Obi-Wan, “but.. it’s just..  _ hard. _ Vader.. wears his face! He and Palpatine deceived us for years and made us think Anakin did all those terrible things! But I just can’t forget the look on his..  _ Vader’s  _ face as he..” Padmé’s voice cracked slightly, “choked me.”

Padmé was a politician, she wasn’t easily rattled or scared off, never has been, it spoke volumes to hear her scared. Obi-Wan could admit that Anakin’s- Vader’s fall had haunted him, and was still haunting him. It hurt to see his best friend  _ (is that really what he is to you, Kenobi?  _ His mind whispered,  _ you know it’s more than that, you know him and Padmé feel the same way about him-)  _ turn his back on everything he had known, but it made so much more sense now. The Anakin he knew would never fall, but he never even thought the possibility of Vader being a clone was well, possible. 

Obi-Wan leaned toward and gave Padmé a hug, wrapping his arms around her body. He settled his head on top of hers as he let out a breath he was holding. “In there is the Anakin that we know.” He whispered, “He would do anything for us, he loves us. It’ll be hard, no doubt about that.. but he shared something that was personal to him.. it speaks volumes about him.” 

Padmé nodded, “It's just so surreal.. to see Vader do that.. and now it’s like he’s just here again, waiting to fall.”

“He won’t.” Obi-Wan vowed, “He’s our Anakin. He won’t fall. It’s going to be okay.” 

Obi-Wan watched as the twins gave their father a big smile and somehow Obi-Wan knew that everything was going to be okay, Anakin was going to be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOPE YALL LIKED THAT !! Sorry about the slow update it legit took me around a month to write that that’s kinda sad. Anyway naturally Obi-Wan and Padmé aren’t going to immediately gonna jump onto the trust Anakin train bc while Vader isn’t Anakin he legit had his face. Mustafar was a traumatizing experience for EVERYONE. I’ve also like never wrote Luke and leia ever so sorry if they’re a lil OOC but isn’t everyone?? anyway, remember y’all are loved! Have a great Morning day or night <33


	5. coming home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin finally gets released from the hospital and gets to see the place where Padmé, Obi-Wan, and the twins just spent their last eight years, struggling with the fact that he wasn’t there those eight years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO GUYS!! It’s been a while since my last update (around 22 days) but here I am!! I wanted to get out an update and here it is!! Hope y’all enjoy!!

“Are you sure he’s okay to leave?” Padmé asked Dr.April. They stood outside of Anakin’s room, he was all ready to go home, all he needed was some rest and he didn’t need to stay here for that. 

“Yes, he’s all ready to go.” Dr.April said to Padmé, her lips were quirked in amusement. “I know you’re worried about him, but he’s fine. Just make sure he’s getting the proper nutrition, he seemed to be lacking it a little bit, not enough to be serious but he’ll need more to be on a quicker road to recovery. Make sure to replace the bacta on his wound at least once a day, if it starts hurting more than it should make him rest, if it’s bleeding get him here immediately. He should be fine.”

Padmé nodded, “Thank you, Dr. April. Guess I should get him.. home.” The home wasn’t really Anakin’s, he had never seen it before, but it felt right. 

Dr.April nodded, “You're welcome. I hope he can be in top shape sooner rather than later.” Then with a click of her heel she was walking down the hallway. 

Padmé turned and stared at the door. She closed her eyes and tried to not think about Vader.

_“Stop, now! Come back! I love you!”_

She pushed the thought from her head as she opened the door to see Anakin wearing one of Obi-Wan’s old Jedi robes. It was beige and the tabards a brown, she could really never remember Anakin wearing light colors like the rest of the Jedi. He stuck to the darker colors, making him stand out against the other Jedi. Anakin was adjusting his boots, they probably were too small for him. 

“Ready to go?” Padmé asked him, walking over to him and smoothing the wrinkles out of the robes. She still remembers doing the same action when he came home from after a campaign. She stops the action, as Anakin looks down at her with those eyes.

“Yeah, ready to go.” Anakin said in a low voice, “Obi-Wan took my lightsabers and kyber crystals there, right?”

Padmé nodded, numbly. It was still too surreal to see Anakin standing in front of her, his force signature starkly different from when she was on Mustafar. Anakin- _(Vader,_ she corrects herself), was surrounded in it, almost drowning in it. When she felt it it made her want to run away, but she didn’t. She never did make rational choices when it came to Anakin. 

It was quiet as they walked out of the hospital, she knew Anakin was analyzing the surroundings, the planet. His blue eyes looked over the hospital’s architecture and what it was made of, and the fauna of Bakura. 

“Can I drive?” He asked as they approached their speeder.

 _“Can I drive?”_ Padmé can still remember when she was just a Senator of Naboo, Anakin asking the same question. He had asked her that right after she had arrived at the Jedi temple after his knighting, she immediately noticed the loss of the braid, she let him drive and she could still feel the wind whipping around them as Anakin sped through Coruscant to the underbelly of it. He had said it many times over the years and the small question brought a small smile on her face. She knew she should say no; he was recovering and could hurt his injury but she couldn’t say no to that boyish grin and bright blue eyes. 

Padmé nodded and got into the passenger seat of the speeder and Anakin hopped in behind the wheel. The speeder looked like a civilian's, not one that a former Senator and Queen of Naboo would own. Any ships or droids or speeders of Padmé was free game to Anakin who would add modifications to them. Anakin took off at breakneck speed, like he used to. She would give him directions and point out some local fauna. She watched him take the planet in, looking at the trees, the plants, and the lakes. She knew it reminded him of Naboo.

-

Anakin couldn’t take the eyes off the planet, it reminded him of Naboo, in a way. Bakura was less populated however, and had a lot more trees and was more of a jungle planet. The planet has more feral animals, he could feel them there. The drive to Padmé’s house- ( _a reminder you weren’t there for the twins when they were growing up,_ his subconscious murmured), was quite long. He enjoyed the almost humid air of Bakura, it was a stark difference from the constant blazing heat of Tatooine. He remembers driving with Sanna, a doctor that helped Anakin out, for the first time on Tatooine, she practically screamed at him to stop going so fast as Ro’vida (or as he likes to call her, Roe), a force sensitive Twi’lek he had been training, was having the time of her life, laughing with him, trying to get him to go faster. He could sense Sanna’s annoyance with them, but she was also amused. 

It made him frown a bit, he had to get back to Tatooine. He yearned to stay with Padmé, Obi-Wan, Luke, and Leia But he had a duty to the slaves on Tatooine, to everyone on Tatooine. He wasn’t done freeing all the slaves, he still had to overthrow Jabba. He planned to kill the Hutt, and throw people sided with the Hutt’s into the Sarlacc pit. It wasn’t actually his idea, it was Ro’vida’s. She had told him they had thrown her sister in and so many other slaves, it was only fitting they got the same mercy. 

“What’s wrong?” Padmé asked, a small frown on her lips. Her curly baby hairs that had slipped out of her intricate bun that she had worn on Geonosis, the hairs whipped around with the wind blowing around them. Anakin took her all in, looking at her midnight blue detachable sleeve wrap top and her tight black leather pants. Even after all this time she was still as beautiful as the day she walked into Watto’s junk shop. He could still sense hers and Obi-Wan’s doubt and mistrust of him, he understood it but it still frustrated him nonetheless. 

Anakin gripped the wheel of the speeder tighter, and he stood followed Padmé’s directions. “It’s just.. I have a thing to do. It’s important.. I made a promise.”

Padmé turned her head to look over their green surroundings then back at Anakin, “What do you need to do?”

Anakin let out a breath, “I’m freeing the slaves on Tatooine.” Padmé looked over at him, eyes widening a bit. “I know what you’re probably thinking, I should be laying low, but I still remember being a slave.. no one deserves to live like that.”

Padmé nodded, the wind blowing her curly hair that was loose from her bun around her. “I get it, Ani.” The nickname pained Anakin a bit, and reminded him of a person he didn't know if he was anymore. He didn’t know if he’d ever be that little slave boy on Tatooine, or the Padawan desperate to grow up, or the brooding Jedi Knight whose own Padawan just left him and was dealing with dreams of his wife dying. He didn’t really know who he was anymore. “I know how much this means to you… it’s personal, I get it.”

Anakin imagined she felt similar about having to leave Naboo when she was just a Queen and had a duty to fulfill to her people. He nodded, “I know..” He took a breath in and it was silent for the rest of the ride. He still couldn’t grasp the fact that his child _ren_ were alive. Plural! Him and Padmé had twins. Leia resembled Padmé and Luke resembled him, but Leia’s temper was all his. Luke had his mother’s warmth to him. He knew Obi-Wan had been training them, he had felt their shields weren't strong or weak, but they were shields all the same. He had felt Leia clumsily brush her force presence against his own, his children had such raw power, the power that he had. The power that had made all these bad things happen to the people around him… he didn’t want his children to be used as pawns as he had; didn’t want them to be _groomed_ as he had. 

His hands on the controls tightened slightly, as he remembered the way Palpatine patted him on his shoulder as a young Padawan, complimenting him, telling him how he’d watch his career with great interest. Anakin was too young to understand what had been going on at the time, he was a young boy who had just been freed from slavery, he would take all the compliments and reassurements that he could get, but now as an adult, looking back on Palpatine, it made him feel sick. Made him feel sick for Vader too, sometimes. Vader couldn’t see that he was just being _used.._ Palpatine had planned on throwing away Vader once he got Anakin on his side, although that would never happen. Anakin would rather burn the way Vader had; striked down by Obi-Wan and left to burn then be with _Emperor_ Palpatine. 

He relaxed his grip on the controls as a house came into view, Anakin could spot a stone pathway leading up to the house and see a garden behind it. It had stairs and railing leading up to a big patio with flower beds surrounding the stone pathway. Seeing the house where his children grew up in stung Anakin a little bit, reminding him of what he didn’t have. He had missed the first eight- almost nine years of their lives, he didn’t want to waste any longer. He turned his head to look at Padmé who was looking at the house getting closer to them. He thanked the Force that Padmé was _alive,_ had survived Vader. It was an impressive feat that not many could say they accomplished, Anakin wondered if Vader felt the same way he did about Padmé, he had seen Anakin’s memories of her.. and Obi-Wan. 

Vader had looked through Anakin’s mind, shoving himself into it. It burned Anakin and the Force screamed around them when he did it, Anakin could still feel their lingering Force bond. He could feel Vader probe it sometimes, checking if he was alive. Anakin’s shields never dropped since he left, ever. If he let them down even a little bit he was afraid Vader would shove himself into his mind again. Anakin hated himself for feeling bad for Vader, for feeling _pity_ and _sympathy._ Anakin was aware he was a bad, terrible, awful person. 

Anakin landed the speeder outside of the front house next to the stone pathway. He scanned the house over, it looked homey, somewhere where kids would run through the gardens and the green environment. “It’s no Naboo.” Anakin said suddenly, getting out of the speeder. 

Padmé looked at him as she brushed some hair out of her face, then she looked over the house and fauna, “It reminds me of Naboo, though.” Her gaze grew wistful as she looked around, “I still wish we could’ve raised them on Naboo, but…”

“It was too big of a risk,” Anakin said softly, finishing off her sentence. Raising their child on Naboo was something Padmé always wanted to do, she wanted them to grow up there and Anakin agreed with her, it’s not like he wanted them to grow up on Tatooine or anything. 

Padmé hovered over Anakin slightly when he walked up the stairs to the patio area of the house, she was behind him, as if she was going to catch him if he fell. He couldn’t feel the pain in his torso from where he had been impaled, but he guessed the pain killers were still in his system. 

“I’m going to be fine, Padmé.” He told her, crossing his arms over his chest, as Padmé walked up to the front door, “You know I’ve been hurt worse.”

“Just be careful, alright?” She told him, turning towards him slightly, “This is the first time I’ve seen you in.. a while.” Her expression was pinched and worried, how badly he wanted to walk up to her and kiss her stress away, but he could feel the mistrust from her. Padmé was haunted from the way Vader used the Force to block off her airways, and Anakin knew he had to gain their trust back.

Padmé’s hand went to the door to open, but it swung open and the twins stood there with Obi-Wan behind them with an amused but exasperated expression. Leia ran at Anakin and hugged his legs while Luke held his arms up for Padmé to reach down and pick him up. Once Leia let go of his legs he kneeled down to her level, and she gave him a bright smile. He could sense Obi-Wan’s and Padmé’s uneasiness with him and the twins - he could only assume it was because now he was up and moving and not in a hospital bed. He could move now and now he had his hands on two lightsabers and kyber crystals. He knew they would probably prefer if he had neither - but he didn’t think they’d force them into their own hands.

Leia looked behind at Obi-Wan, Luke, and Padmé before leaning forward, “Can you tell me more about the Force?” Leia asked, excitement clear in her eyes. When Anakin had first met the twins Leia and Luke had asked him if he could use the Force too, so Anakin levitated a cup of water off of the side table, Leia had shrieked in excitement. 

Anakin raised one eyebrow, “Hasn’t Obi-Wan told you about the Force?”

“Yes,” Leia pouted, “But can you tell me more? Obi told me that your connection with the Force is very strong, why?”

“Well.. I wasn’t born naturally,” Anakin said, awkwardly. He didn’t want to have to explain to his eight year old daughter that how to have kids you had to have sex. Frankly he never wanted to have that talk. “The Force made me, I never had a father.” He didn’t want to bore an eight year old about how midichlorians helped conceive him inside of his mother’s womb.

“W-Wait…” Leia paused, looking back at Anakin and Luke then Padmé, “Does that mean that… the Force IS MY GRANDPA?”

Obi-Wan, Padmé, and Luke looked over at Leia’s loud outburst. Leia ran around Anakin and to Obi-Wan clasping their hands together, “Obi! Obi! Obi! The Force is my grandpa!” Then she turned to Luke and grabbed his hands and spun around, “Luke! Luke! The Force is our grandpa!” Luke let Leia spin him around in circles.

Luke looked at Leia in confusion, still spinning around, “What? Wait… that means-“ Luke turned to Anakin, “The Force is your _father?_ Was it in love with your mom?”

Anakin sputtered for a response, how was he supposed to respond?-

He looks up to see Padmé and Obi-Wan sharing amused looks. “The Force isn’t an actual person, Luke. It’s all around us, it’s in us.”

“I know that!” Luke said, turning to Obi-Wan and back to Anakin, “But then how do you explain the Force being your dad?”

Anakin looked down at Luke and gave him a smile, “I don’t know, it just happened.”

Luke opened his mouth to say something but Padmé spoke up before he could, “Come on, children. Your father is still injured, he needs to rest. Let’s go watch that holoshow you two enjoy so much.” Luke and Leia followed their mother inside, Leia looked behind her shoulder and gave Anakin a bright smile before following her mother and brother inside.

Anakin folded his arms over his chest and sighed, he felt the wound on his stomach become a soft ache, the painkillers were probably wearing off. He looked up to the house, and was reminded of all the stuff he missed out on. He knew he thought Padmé and their child was dead, but he could’ve at least sought out Obi-Wan, but Anakin was so _scared_ after Vader and Palpatine- he was scared of what Obi-Wan thought of him, scared of the fact that Obi-Wan might hate him. He didn’t want Obi-Wan, his Master, The man that he idolized as a child to hate him, and maybe he was scared of the feeling he’d get in his stomach when he thought of Obi-Wan, the same one he’d get when thinking about Padmé, but it was wrong and that’s why Anakin didn’t say anything about it back then, and not now either. He loved Padmé, _(but don’t you love him too?)_ it was wrong to do that to her, especially when he needed to gain both of their trust back.

He peeked up through his eyelashes to meet Obi-Wan’s eyes. “Are you okay?” Obi-Wan asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. It was crazy to Anakin how a simple touch could just ground him. 

Anakin gave him a soft smile and nodded, “Just the painkillers wearing off. I guess I was pretty lucky you found me, huh?”

“Your droid, Lucky, led us to you. You always did pick up the most eccentric droids,” Obi-Wan said in a soft, wistful tone.

“Speaking of Lucky, where is he?” Anakin asked. Lucky had his lightsaber and the Inquisitor's lightsaber with him. Being apart from his lightsaber after years of not having it always put him on edge slightly. Sometimes when Anakin was on Tatooine he’d just close his eyes with his fingers trailing the grooves on the lightsaber hilt, it helped ground him, make him feel in control. Ro always did look at his lightsaber with a gleam in her eyes, he figured it made her feel in control too. 

“Come on, he’s in your room.” Obi-Wan took his hand off of Anakin’s shoulder and he followed him into the house. Anakin shut the door behind him and looked around, it reminded him of the interior of the Lake House on Naboo. Anakin looked up and followed Obi-Wan to _his_ room. Anakin was led to a hallway and there were several doors, he was led to the first one on the left side. Obi-Wan opened the door and Anakin looked around the room, it was a simple room that was a decent size that was painted gray and had navy covers. His eyes darted over to the closet when he saw movement and he saw Lucky whistling at him as he rolled over to him. 

Anakin grinned and kneeled down, “I missed you too, buddy!” He patted Lucky on his dome shaped head and wrapped his arms around the astromech droid, hugging him. He could feel Obi-Wan’s amusement through the Force and looked behind him to see Obi-Wan regarding him with a small smile. Obi-Wan and Anakin’s eyes met for a few long seconds, before Obi-Wan looked away and cleared his throat, “Well I’ll leave you to it. Padmé will bring your painkillers soon.” Obi-Wan turned around and shut the door behind him. 

Lucky beeped after Obi-Wan left and Anakin went to the bed and threw himself on it, clutching his pillow and scoffed, “That wasn’t anything, don’t worry about it.” Lucky beeped at him again, and Anakin sighed, “Don’t worry about it, Lucky.” Lucky buzzed dubiously but left it alone. Anakin rolled over so his back laid on the soft covers and he stared up at the ceiling. He thought back to Obi-Wan and Padmé’s whispered conversations when he was in the hospital when he was with the twins and they thought he couldn’t hear, and wondered if they’d ever trust him again like before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t touch really talk about the fact that Obi-Wan and Padmé are still uneasy around Anakin but it’ll show up next chapter, I just wanted to show Anakin’s POV mainly, and he’s trying not to focus on that. Anyway I hope y’all enjoyed!! If you didn’t I’m sorry, also v sad that school has started up for mainly everyone, but I BELIEve iN YOU gUys!! I’ll try to manifest good grades and test scores for y’all. Hope y’all have great morning afternoon night or whatever time ur reading this at, remember you are loved!! <333


	6. nightmares & lightsabers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin has a moment with the twins and fixes the Inquisitor's lightsaber. Padmé and Obi-Wan comfort Anakin after a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS!! IM ALIVE!!
> 
> sorry for the inconvenience and wait but happy New Years!! and we actually have a chapter count now! hope y’all enjoy and sorry if this is a disappointment I also added some small fluff at the end for your inconvenience :)

When Anakin’s eyes opened he was aware of the Force signatures surrounding his room. When he reached out he was aware of everyone sleeping around him. He could tell it was in the middle of the night and despite his abdomen aching he decided not to get up and get his medicine. The better that he got he knew Padmé and Obi-Wan would grow more weary of him. He saw it the other day in their eyes. He couldn’t blame them really. After he got out of that cold and empty and _hollow_ space station he’d look in the mirror and see _Vader._

Vader had barely worn his face for only a couple of hours but it was him. He was Vader and Vader was him. He could feel Vader on the other half of his bond, stewing in anger and hate. The bond was a product of the Force - a punishment for Palpatine. For Palpatine to dare to recreate the Chosen One. He couldn’t snap it or break it he had tried. The Force refused, refused to let him snap the hold Vader had on him. It made anger boil in his stomach so he never tried to think about it for long. He had commed Zalachi to tell her that he was okay - just recovering and not sure when he’d be back. He told her to make sure Ro’vida was keeping up with her katas. 

The sun was rising, the lines of sunshine on the hardwood floors of this room. Lucky sat powered down in the corner, he sat up and stretched, ignoring the aching sensation in his abdomen. He threw his legs over the bed, standing up. He bent down to touch his toes, stretching out. The pain in his abdomen heightened as he stretched but he just ignored it. He could feel Obi-Wan slowly gaining consciousness. Anakin had always woken up after Obi-Wan during the war. No matter how early they had to do briefings or how early they had to storm a Separatist stronghold. 

He had never wanted to leave the warm cocoon he had, bundled up in all of those blankets. Anakin didn’t want to get up and he still didn’t want to get up now. He took off the sleep tunic he’d worn to bed - something of Obi-Wan’s he thought. It rode up slightly as he raised his arms, he could still remember as a Padawan jeering at his Master as he’d grown taller. He powered up Lucky and tapped on his dome head, “Come on, buddy. I think Padmé left the bacta patches in the kitchen.”

Lucky whirred to life, his head moving in a circle. He followed Anakin to the kitchen as he found them sitting on the island of the table. He didn’t know how he’d get the bacta patch on his back yet but he’d figure it out in a few seconds. He peeled the front bacta patch off, looking at the wound that looked inflamed and irritated. The incision was only mildly big, it looked like his skin had been stretched and pulled together to stitch back together. He figured that’s what they did anyway. He smoothed the bacta patch against the incision. He was deciding how he wanted to get the one on his back when he heard soft footfalls and looked up to see Obi-Wan’s tired eyes. His eyes softly roamed Anakin’s scarred golden skin. It made his cheeks flush slightly, weird how his Master’s gaze would make him blush like one of those Coruscanti schoolgirls he’d see when he walked the lower levels. They would sometimes recognize him from the holonet - the Hero with No Fear - and they’d blush. 

“You need some help?” He asked, walking towards Anakin as he nodded. Lucky beeped in greeting. His eyes looked over Anakin’s scarred skin, taking in every inch. He was a General - he knew his fair share of scars and could probably guess a few. 

He took off the bacta patch from Anakin’s back, humming slightly as he took in the wound, his fingers tracing the new incision lightly. He could feel Obi-Wan’s hesitance - being this close to him. The scar was a sign he was getting better - a sign he could lash out at any minute and become Vader. That he could become a blood thirsty, violent, murderous, tantrum throwing, dangerous sith. _(Although - He vehemently denied it, he had thrown some as a Padawan - and a Knight.)_

It made his hair turn up, he wasn’t Vader. They couldn’t be more different people. Anger boiled in his lower stomach as he thought of him. He pushed it aside as he watched Obi-Wan’s nimble fingers pick up a bacta patch and smooth it out across his back. He hissed slightly, his back arching forward slightly. His forearms went to the table to support himself and Lucky whirred questionably. Obi-Wan’s hand was still on that damn bacta patch, almost if he was trying to support him. 

“T-Thank you,” He stuttered out, his back alight by the slight touch. He turned around to meet Obi-Wan's blue eyes, his hand fell away from his back automatically. Anakin hadn’t been touched lightly in years - not since the war. Ro’vida had tried to offer him some comfort, but she could tell he didn’t want to be touched. Sanna had always smiled, her pink lips would be pulled into a smile every time she saw him. Ro’vida would murmur words for him after a bad nightmare, her red lekku twitching slightly as she did so. 

“No problem,” Obi-Wan said, his lips twitching. He couldn’t tell if he was about to smile or frown. He heard faster, heavier footfalls and his legs was hit by a pair of two small arms. He would’ve fallen over if it wasn’t for the island at his back. The cut of the table hit uncomfortably against his newly placed bacta patch. 

“Hi!” Leia said, looking up at him with her brown eyes - startlingly like her mother’s. 

“Hi! Hi! Good morning!” Luke said.

“Come on, kids,” Obi-Wan said, beckoning them over to the kitchen table. “Sit down while I make you some breakfast.” 

Padmé walked into the kitchen with her hair down in soft curls. She looked beautiful, his breath caught in his throat but no one noticed. “Good morning,” She said simply to him, walking on the other side of the island to the caf machine, pressing the on button.

“Good morning,” He echoed. Her hair in soft curls down her back and her sleep tired voice reminded him of early mornings on Coruscant. It would be early in the morning - and he'd probably not be awake but when he was they’d have caf together and she’d talk about her Senate meetings. The Coruscant skyline would be as alive as ever - even in the early mornings. They would sit and just enjoy each other’s company, sometimes she’d have to leave early for Senate meetings and he’d kiss her temple and wish her goodbye. He saw her eyes flicker to his scars and the newly placed bacta patch. Padmé passed him to go to the fridge to presumably make the twins some breakfast. He could hear Obi-Wan entertaining the twins in the other room. 

He looked towards her rummaging through the fridge and his ears picked up on Obi-Wan saying something to the twins. He knew he didn’t belong in this picture - he was a puzzle piece that just didn’t fit no matter how hard he tried to jam himself with the other pieces. “I’m going outside,” He told Padmé. He needed to do something.

She turned around, her left eyebrow raised slightly, “Okay, but maybe you should put on a shirt.” Then turned back around.

“Ah, right.” He has totally forgotten he didn’t have a shirt on. He headed back to his room and changed into tunics, some of Obi-Wan’s again. He headed back and whistled for Lucky to follow him and he whistled and followed. He opened up those French doors that connected to the backyard area. They were surrounded by acres of land without people for miles. Bakura was a very green planet with lakes and a lot of animals and fauna. They had a small garden in the back and flowers were sprouted up around the house but it didn’t look overgrown. 

“C’mere Lucky,” He said and Lucky whirred, the top half of his dome head pulling back and a lightsaber pointing out of it. He pulled it out and it was the Inquistor’s, that Obi-Wan had given to him with great hesitance. He sat down on the grass, holding the lightsaber in his hands. He sat with his legs crossed in front of him, and focused on the kyber crystal inside of it. It was crying out, he closed his eyes. He felt the living force around him, in the fauna and the animals around him. He reached out to them, and it complied like the Force always did for him. The Force was always too loud for him, murmuring things and roaring in his ears. It was always too hard to meditate for long, the Force always got louder and it sometimes gave him a headache. 

He knew it was the Force’s way of trying to communicate with him, he was it’s son after all. It was almost always murmuring to him, when he escaped after years in Vader’s captivity the amount of Force that surged through him would’ve brought him to his knees if he wasn’t sitting down. He remembered the tears running down his cheeks, it _hurt._ He was about to slowly swarm the living Force around the bleeding edge of the kyber crystal, to health and soothe the bleeding but he felt small arms from behind him wrap around his neck. 

Anakin made a small _oomph_ noise when he felt small hands tug at his arms. He blinked open his eyes and he saw Leia tugging at his arm so that meant Luke was wrapped around his back. Leia’s hair was braided in some Nabooian hairstyle. She looked like a mini Padmé with her hair tied up like that. It still baffled him that his children _lived._ They were beautiful and magnificent and everything and more. Leia’s brown eyes blinked at him, curiosity in them, “What are you doing?” Anakin placed the Inquisitor's lightsaber down next to his thigh. “Have you two eaten breakfast? Does Padmé and Obi-Wan know where you two are at?”

Luke moved his position from wrapping himself around Anakin’s back to sit in his lap, sitting on his crossed legs. His own blue eyes blinked up at him curiously. Anakin went to grasp the red lightsaber in his hand and held it in his palm, when Luke reached out to touch it he moved it out of his way. He didn’t really want his children touching this lightsaber, this lightsaber that had a bleeding kyber crystal in it and had been used to slice and slash down people. Innocent people and children. 

“When you reach out in the Force to this lightsaber?” Anakin asked. He felt a little worried what Padmé and Obi-Wan would think if he was out here with his two kids and a blood red lightsaber. 

Luke and Leia both closed their eyes, they both had identical concentrated looks on his face that Anakin found cute. Their noses were scrunched up in concentration. Leia’s eyes blinked open first, “It’s crying.” She had a sad expression on her face, “Why is it crying?”

It felt weird having both of his children’s full attention on him. It reminded him of a time before the Empire when he’d teach the younglings. There was a little Pautoran girl with light purple hair who braided his hair as another little girl with blonde hair from Aldeeran directed her on how to braid. “Well, a bad person made the kyber crystal hurt and bleed.”

Luke looked up at him, “Are you going to fix it?” 

He brushed a lock of blonde hair out of his face, “Yes, I am.” Anakin placed the lightsaber next to him a few feet away closer to Lucky than him, “but not right now.”

Leia and Luke frowned. “Why not?” Leia said, a pout on her face. He lifted Luke up to sit in front of him and Leia scurried right next to him. They both sat in front of them, staring at him.

“Because I’m going to tell you a story.” Leia and Luke both perked up at that, “I’m guessing your mom has told you two that she’s from Naboo and about their water and moon deities?” 

Leia and Luke both nodded, clearly interested, “Are you gonna tell us stories about your home planet?” Leia asked.

“I spend most of my childhood on a desert planet called Tatooine.” He said, “On Tatooine, there is this deity named Ekkerth and now Ekkerth-“

-

As Padmé finished breakfast she lifted her head, “Luke and Leia! Breakfast!” She placed two plates on the kitchen table. At the silence she frowned, walking into the living room where the holo played some show, her heart stopped in her chest a little bit. There were small indents on the couch from where they had sat. “Obi-Wan!” She called out. 

He peeked his head out from the hallway, he’d gotten changed from his sleep tunics. His eyebrows furrowed, “What is it?” He walked towards her until they stood face to face, or more like face to chin. He wasn’t as tall as Anakin but she was still shorter than him. 

“I-I don’t know where they twins went, they just were gone and I-“ She closed her eyes and calmed her breathing, her heart thudding in her chest. He could head the small _thump, thump, thump, thump_ it rang in her ears. She was so scared of them getting snatched up and taken from _Palpatine._ She tried not to close her eyes and hear the _kssh_ _kosh_ of the iconic black suit Darth Vader wore. She had seen him on the holonet, and heard about him from Bail. He was a menace on the battlefield, when he was on the frontlines the rebels weren’t advised to fight they were advised to _run._ They were advised to do whatever you needed to survive. 

Obi-Wan put both his hands on either of her shoulders, it steadied and calmed her. She slowly opened her eyes, her eyelashes fluttering. “I’m sure they’re fine.” Obi-Wan said softly. “Maybe they’re outside with Anakin.” 

Fear clutched at her heart. She knew it was irrational and wrong but she couldn’t help it. She could see the slight glimmer of fear in Obi-Wan’s eyes as well. 

_“You brought him here to kill me!” Anakin - no Vader bellowed, and shortly after he had grasped her throat with the Force and crushed her windpipe. She remembered her body not feeling like her own, falling limp to the floor. She could barely feel Obi-Wan’s fingers dash over her pulse to make sure she was alive, to make sure her husband didn’t kill her and their children._

As soon as the words had left his mouth she was walking outside, opening the French doors to the outside door. Obi-Wan was by her side in a matter of seconds, their shoulders brushing together as he stood next to her. Anakin sat with his legs crossed, his back towards her. Lucky sat next to him, and the twins sat in front of them, curiosity in their eyes and their full attention on Anakin, but that wasn’t what caught her attention. It was the Inquisitor lightsaber rolled near Lucky but in between the droid and Anakin. She could tell Obi-Wan noticed this as well, as his breath hitched and she could feel in the Force his fear. While the twins weren’t his by blood they were his kids in all but blood. He had helped raise them, helped reach them the Force and taught them how to speak and read and write alongside Padmé. 

She ignored the need to storm over there and grab her kids and just run. Run away from Anakin and that lightsaber oozing of the dark side. “Luke, Leia!” She called, her voice a bit frantic and her eyes hardened, “Breakfast!” 

Luke and Leia looked towards their mom and stood up slowly, saying something to Anakin she couldn’t quite hear. Luke waved his little hand at Anakin before he said something to Leia and took off. She could guess it was something about who could beat who to breakfast first. Luke took off, his little legs propelling him forward. He ran into the house, Leia trailing behind him. 

Padmé walked over to Anakin, her arms crossed over her chest, “What are you doing?”

Her anger is forgotten for a split second when his head twists and she met his brilliant blue eyes and his hair was blonde, blonder than it was during the Clone Wars. The Tatooine sun had bleached his hair and made it a sunny blonde. “What were you doing out here?” He recognized the underlying anger in her voice. 

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan trailed from behind her, standing a little bit away. 

“I mean what are you doing out here, with an Inquisitor's lightsaber next to _my_ children!” She can tell he recognized the implication of my children by the slight clenching of his jaw. 

Anakin frowned, “I wasn’t going to.. hurt them.” Anakin said it slowly and softly, “I was just going to.. here” He lifted his hand up for her to take. 

She looked back at Obi-Wan, apprehension and the slight anger from before still there. Anakin looked toward Obi-Wan, “You can sit here too, if you’d like.”

Padmé took his hand hesitantly, and Anakin gently guided her to sit in front of him on the grass. Obi-Wan sat next to Anakin, they sat in some sort of triangle. Anakin reached out with the Force and the Inquisitor's lightsaber hit his palm immediately. 

He held it up and gestured for Padmé to grab the hilt of it with him. She slowly touched it, and her eyes drifted close. Obi-Wan looked curiously as well, peering at Anakin. Anakin nodded, so Obi-Wan grasped the edge of the hilt.

“What do you feel?” He asked, reflecting on the moment just a few minutes ago when he had asked the twins. 

“The kyber crystal is bleeding.” She said, “Almost.. crying. In pain.”

Anakin nodded, his eyes also drifting shut, “Yes.” He let himself slowly sink back into the living force, bringing it towards him. He felt Obi-Wan slowly copy him, and he urged Padmé to do the same. Her grasp on the Force was sort of clumsy, not as refined as theirs, but after all she hadn’t been trained as a Jedi, just from Anakin and probably from Obi-Wan. 

He softly wove the Force into the kyber crystal, soothing the edges of the bleeding crystal. He felt the other two copy him, heal the kyber crystal until it wasn’t bleeding anymore. Until it wasn’t crying, it was whole again. When he opened his eyes the other two did too. Obi-Wan looked at the lightsaber curiously and Padmé peered at him. He stood up, softly taking the lightsaber from the other two's grasp. Once he ignited the lightsaber, the white light of the lightsaber washed over them, bathing them in this light.

Obi-Wan and Padmé both stood up. “How did you know it would do that?” Obi-Wan asked. 

“I heard someone did it,” He responded, giving his wrist a soft twist so the lightsaber whirled in his hand, “Vader was mad about it or something, something about the Sixth Brother’s lightsaber.” 

Padmé and Obi-Wan gave each other a look when he mentioned Vader. He deactivated it and placed it in Padmé’s hand. “Here.”

Padmé’s eyes narrowed, “What are you doing?”

“You can have it.”

Padmé balked slightly, “What do you mean? I-I can’t have this-“

“You’re Force Sensitive, Padmé. Eventually Obi-Wan will begin training the twins about how to wield a lightsaber and I’m sure you’d look quite elegant with a lightsaber, a white one at that.” Anakin leaned down and touched his toes, stretching. The back of his shirt rode up slightly as he did so, exposing his golden skinned back with different scars lining his back. Anakin leaned back up and rubbed his hands together, “What did you make for breakfast? I’m starving.”

-

The day had passed rather slowly. Padmé taught the twins history and writing, while Anakin had checked his comm way too much. Zalachi hadn’t responded to his last comm and it made him anxious, made his chest tighten. He knew Obi-Wan was watching him, and so was Padmé but he was closer to him. Obi-Wan had practically forced him to rest the rest of the day and so in turn he had watched the censored holonet. 

Anakin’s legs were propped up on the table in front of him, with a blanket wrapped around him. Even on a planet like Bakura he still managed to get cold. Obi-Wan sat next to him, a book in his hand. Suddenly the holonet started to roll about the news. 

“Oh, look!” Anakin gently jabbed his elbow into Obi-Wan’s side. Obi-Wan gave him a guarded amused expression. 

The holonet started to rave on about the Sentinel’s actions and atrocities towards the Empire. He had taken out his fair share of Moffs and higher ranked military officials. Obi-Wan watched the holo, sneaking a few more glances at Anakin, “How often do you watch these?”

Anakin shrugged, “Not that often.” His eyes went back to the holo, “Tatooine doesn’t get the best reception. Plus, I find the Empire propaganda amusing. I get called a bunch of well colorful names while Vader is.. considered a hero for taking care of those rebels.” Anakin would be forever grateful that Vader only wore his face for a few hours, but those few hours were enough to ruin lifelong friendships and relationships. Vader was burned beyond recognition, no one would know he once wore the face of Anakin Skywalker if he took off his helmet. 

Anakin tilted his head towards Obi-Wan, regarding his Master carefully, then his eyes went back to the holo, “One time I told Vader you made him breathe out of a harmonica.”

He felt Obi-Wan’s amusement in the Force and a soft laugh spilled off his lips, “You _what?”_

Anakin shrugged and looked back towards Obi-Wan, smiling, “I thought it was funny at the time.” His throat burned with the thought, as the air left his lungs. His abdomen stung with the thought of the blood red lightsaber causing burns on his stomach. The scars had mostly healed, but they still had white lines on his abdomen. 

“I’m sure he wasn’t too pleased with that,” Obi-Wan said, a grin on his face.

“No, no he wasn’t.”

-

It was late at night when Anakin woke up sweating and panting. Lucky sat powered down in the corner of the room and he didn’t feel like powering him up to calm him down. He yanked off his sleep tunic, feeling entirely too hot. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the images of his throat closing in on him, the burning sensation of getting impaled on a red lightsaber and the feeling of lightning crawling up his body. He was just glad it wasn’t of Padmé’s windpipe crushing in on itself, or just _any_ of Vader’s memories of Mustafar in general, but sometimes he’d just wake up and he’d think he was in Vader’s Mustafar palace that had the dark side nipping at his heels, or the cold of the Executor. 

He didn’t think he’d ever forget the sound of Vader’s breathing. Of the cold of the dark side. He still hated sand but waking up on Tatooine was refreshing, it was always so hot with the twin suns shining down on him, tanning his skin and bleaching his hair. He sat back on his bed and rested his elbows on his knees, his back arched at a weird angle. He ran his fingers through his messy curls, making them more of a mess than they already were. He squeezed his eyes shut, a few tears slipping out of his eyes and remembered the soothing voice of his mother, but even that couldn’t really help him. 

_Just breathe. Focus on what’s around you, you can feel some living thing outside, maybe a carnivore? And a-_

He didn’t really notice the footfalls outside his door until his door creaked open. He furiously wiped the tears off his cheeks with the back of his hand, Padmé and Obi-Wan were in his doorway standing a bit awkwardly. He couldn’t really blame them. 

Padmé walked in first though, sitting in front of him, her elbows resting on his thighs, “You should get back in bed.” Her voice was soft, and he nodded to himself more than her really. So when he tucked himself back in his bed he didn’t expect Padmé to get in with him, she laid in front of her with their eyes meeting hesitantly. Obi-Wan shuffled into bed, shuffling behind Anakin. Anakin’s bare back pressed up against Obi-Wan’s chest. Padmé slowly, hesitantly intertwined their legs together. He could hear how her breath picked up as she did so, and how Obi-Wan spilled behind him. Obi-Wan’s arms wrapped around his waist, holding him in between the two of them. 

After the tension had slowly left their bodies and they were drifting off to sleep Anakin said drowsily, “If it makes you feel any better, if I turn into Vader into my sleep you can be the one to strangle me.” 

He felt Padmé’s and Obi-Wan’s reluctant amusement, he opened his mouth to say something but Obi-Wan murmured into his ear, his lips pressed up against his ear, “ _Sleep.”_

With that sleep consumed him and his eyes fluttered shut.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh I haven’t actually read the Ahsoka novel where she heals the kyber crystals and turns her sabers white so I’m not exactly sure if I wrote that right. Originally it was just going to be Padmé and Anakin together but then I was like yknow could be cool if they do it together. I mentioned how Ahsoka did it with his lightsabers but I actually have no idea what year she did it I tried to look it up but it didn’t really help me so if it did happen later this was just sped up. I’m really uneasy about this chapter, I hope I wrote Obi-Wan’s and Padmé’s distrust of Anakin well. ALSO hope y’all enjoyed that small cuddling at the end :) I love them sm 
> 
> also shoutout to my friend who doesn’t even watch Star Wars but reads over every chapter before I post it ty 
> 
> I hope y’all enjoyed this despite the very long wait - practically a year wait bc this was last updated in August of 2020 but here we are!!

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO BAD AT FIGHTINF SCENES but I TRIED ngl I don’t have a schedule for this so updates will be random and irregular but sorry. constructive criticism is welcome! (pls go easy on me though) sorry if this is inaccurate lmao I’m pretty much just researching shit at this point to make things as accurate as possible anyway have a great morning day or night remember you are loved <33


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